


Expecting the Unexpected

by ALCzysz17



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Jon Snow and the Starks Are Not Related, Jon's POV, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Sansa's POV, Unplanned Pregnancy, jonsa
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-18
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:27:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 24,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22298560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ALCzysz17/pseuds/ALCzysz17
Summary: Sansa had thought she was being a good family friend. She thought helping Jon loosen up with some alcohol would be good for him instead of moping about in the basement. Even Theon had thought so.But maybe there was more to it than that. Maybe, just maybe, Sansa wanted more to it than that, and she got it…How could she not have been expecting the unexpected?
Relationships: Jon Snow/Sansa Stark
Comments: 89
Kudos: 205





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey y'all! It's been a hot minute (or not really if you read my Jonsa Tumblr Prompts). I wrote a 700 word prompt for this concept called 'I'm pregnant', Chapter 9 - https://archiveofourown.org/works/18159893/chapters/53058079 
> 
> It is set in Jon's POV there, but this first chapter is Sansa's POV of the same situation. I haven't done a pregnancy story in a modern setting, and I really liked the idea that I couldn't help but continue it. This is going to be a short story, possibly 4 chapters (as long as the plot bunnies don't over feed me). I will try to update this once a week, I've been forcing myself to write at least 500 words a day either for oneshots, WIPs, or new stuff like this. I took advantage of Friday after work to write down the rest of this chapter. 
> 
> Please enjoy! ^_~

Her hands shook as she washed them in the sink, aggressively scrubbing at her fingers with sharp nails underneath scorching water. Sansa practically burned her finger prints off once she was finished. She even dried them harshly, leaving her hands and fingers pruned and red. She glanced at the little stick on the counter then averted her eyes to the box it came in.

She had already read the instructions ten times, but that didn’t stop her from picking up the box and rereading the information again, then a twelve time. Sansa went to set the box down, but she quickly pulled it back up to read the information once more when her phone started dinging.

Her timer was going off.

Abruptly, she dropped the box to the ground then stumbled over to turn off the timer on her phone. Her red and pruned fingers were clumsy though and she swiped her phone right off the counter to the carpet circling the toilet. Dropping to her knees, Sansa picked up the phone to turn off the timer.

Then slowly, as though time moved only a minute per second, she turned her head to the counter. Her stomach fluttered and twisted as she pushed up to her feet. Her eyes glanced back down at the box then peered down at the counter where the white stick laid.

Sansa reached for it, picking it up with trembling fingers to peer into the little window.

Two pink lines.

She had read the box ten times then an eleventh and twelfth. She had almost made it thirteen before the timer went off, so Sansa knew exactly what those two lines meant. Those simple two pink lines that taunted her in her hand. Swiftly, it slipped through her loose fingers to tumble on the edge of the sink before sliding down into it. Still, the pink lines faced her, continuing to taunt her.

It was like they were telling her that her life was over. Telling her that she fucked up and this was the consequence of that fuck up. Taunting her endlessly as those stupid little pink lines reminded her that she was…

“I’m pregnant…”

The turmoil in her mind erupted over. The urge to scream was strong, but she pursed her lips tightly together to keep any sounds at bay. The urge to cry was even stronger, but her eyes merely watered and yet, no tears flowed over the rims of her eyes.

The urge to puke was strongest though.

Sansa dropped to the toilet, for once happy that her messy brothers had left the seat up and started to almost projectile vomit into the bowl. There was nothing in her stomach but water and before long she was dry heaving into the bowl. Leaning her cheek against the rim, ignoring the fact that it smelled inside the toilet bowl and she was going to need to wash her face afterwards, she tried to comprehend what was going on.

Her mind wouldn’t work though.

Those two pink lines were still taunting her.

With shaky, weak arms, Sansa managed to push herself up from the toilet, flushing the evidence as she went. Her eyes skirted around the counter until she was looking at herself in the mirror. Her skin looked paler than normal, almost washed out in the bright lightening of the bathroom. Her eyes took in her messy hair, her trembling arms, and then her hands that somehow, of their own accord, were pressing against her flat stomach.

It wasn’t going to stay flat forever though.

Taking a slow, deep breath through her nose, Sansa reached into the sink to grab the pregnancy test. She gripped it tightly within her fist as though she could crumble it to pieces, to dust. It was strong plastic though and she was never the physical type.

Upon exiting the hall bathroom, she glanced down the hall. She was surprised no one was waiting outside, that no one had heard her puking so violently. But it was then she remembered what time it was. Robb was probably still asleep in his room, having online classes this semester. Arya, Bran, and Rickon were at school. Her mother and father were already gone to work.

Sansa felt both happy and sad. Happy for the fact that no one could question her and yet, sad because she felt so utterly alone. She glanced at her brother’s door but continued to walk towards the stairs and down to the kitchen. She needed something hot, be it coffee or tea.

The sound of clattering metal stopped her in her tracks. Sansa peered around the corner to see the last person she thought to see in her family’s kitchen. Though honestly, it was rather dumb of her to even think that.

Jon Snow often slept over at their house. He practically had a permanent room in the basement, especially now that he was trying to find his own place after his relationship fell apart. So really, it was dumb of Sansa to not expect him here.

Yet, seeing him sitting there, eating cereal while scrolling through some type of media feed on his phone made her feel sicker than before as memories started to flood her mind. Her stomach twisted, both from seeing him but also from the vivid memory of that night. The night that created the very situation Sansa found herself in now…

\--------------------------------

It was hard to open the door with two heavy bottles in her hands, but somehow Sansa managed to juggle them and turn the doorknob successfully. Arya was wrong, she did have good multitasking skills. Though the stairwell leading down into the basement was slightly shrouded in darkness, she was able to slowly make her way down with practiced ease.

As Sansa made her way down into the basement, Jon appeared from where he sat on the couch. He had a video game paused on the tv screen with the controller on the coffee table while he was laid across the couch, seemingly staring off into nothingness. Upon hearing footsteps though, his head turned towards the stairs and their eyes connected.

Jon tried to smile, but it seemed to crumble midway, leaving his mouth in nothing but a thin line. His eyes dropped from hers only to focus on the bottles in each of her hands. A bottle of tequila and a bottle of whiskey.

Arching a brow, he asked, “What are you doing?”

Sansa rolled her eyes, stopping on the final step. “What does it look like I’m doing?”

“Holding two bottles of high percentage alcohol. Where did you even get those? You’re not of legal age.” Sansa ignored his line of questioning as she made her way over to him, setting both bottles down on the coffee table before going to the small kitchenette where she could locate some shot glasses. “Who bought those, Sansa?” Jon questioned further, leaning up to peer over the back of the couch to watch her with his keen grey eyes.

She could feel the heat of his eyes following her as she searched through the cabinets. She knew there were some shot glasses down here, but the cabinets were a disaster of dishes that made finding them a challenge. The burning of his gaze continued, so she decided to answer his question.

“Theon.”

“That fucking asshole,” Jon grumbled as she laughed at his response.

“Do you always call your best friends’ assholes?” Sansa asked, glancing over her shoulder briefly to find him hidden by the couch.

“Aye. I call your brother an asshole as well.”

“Takes one to know one, I suppose.” Glancing over her shoulder again, she was unsurprised to see a middle finger appearing over the back of the couch. Shaking her head with laughter on her tongue, Sansa turned back to the cabinets.

“Bottom cabinet towards the right,” Jon piped up from the couch.

“Glasses are usually in the top cabinets.” He didn’t response to her comment.

With two shot glasses in hand, Sansa went over to the small sink where she rinsed them out real quick. Seven knows how long they were down there in the musk. Finally, she was ready to get down to business.

Only two weeks prior the news broke that Jon and Ygritte had broken up. Sansa had felt awful for her brother’s best friend. He had been dating Ygritte since freshmen year of high school, they seemed so well fitted for each other. Jon’s solemn attitude helped bring Ygritte down to earth while her go getter, no punches held personality helped bring Jon out of his sober funks. They were in ways, rather opposite, and yet, their strengths and weaknesses balanced each other out.

Sansa had been sure they would never separate.

Apparently, so did Jon.

He bought a ring, custom made from what Robb had told the family and not cheap either. Jon proposed to Ygritte, but it didn’t go down the way everyone thought it would. Sansa didn’t know too much information about that night, only that Ygritte didn’t want to settle down and commit. She stepped back from his kneeled stance, ring held out to her, and she stepped out of their relationship entirely after that.

Jon had grown up in the system, never knowing his parents or other family. He was a ward of the state by the time he lived on his own at sixteen. If memory served her right, it was only two months after he got his own place that Ygritte moved in with him. She was distant with her family, a loner by choice as Theon would comment with an eye roll.

Theon had never been a big fan of Ygritte and vice versa.

After that unfortunate night, Jon had been staying in the basement with the pull-out bed. Glancing around, it was practically like he lived here the whole time he had known Robb rather than having been here for two weeks. Boxes upon boxes of his stuff were packed into every corner of the basement, ready to be picked up and moved to his new apartment once he found another one.

Sansa had never been terribly close to Jon, not in the same way as the rest of her family had been. Sure, when they were kids, he would play her imaginary games. Humoring her the most out of everyone. But as they all grew up, Sansa became the odd one out and before long, she preferred it that way. That didn’t mean her minuscule crush never went away. She continued to crush on Jon throughout the years, but when she hit high school, she decided she needed to change her preferences.

Instead of appealing to dark hair and eyes, she chose to look at boys with light hair and eyes. Instead of interacting with the quiet, withdrawn types, she hung out with the loud, outgoing types. As far opposite to Jon as she possibly could, that was what Sansa looked for. And she found it too.

She found it in Joffrey Baratheon.

Light blonde hair, light blue eyes, loud and boisterous. He was always the center of attention no matter where he went. Always wanting-no needing everyone’s eyes on him at all times. It drew Sansa in like a moth to light, but she wished she had turned away, pulled away from Joffrey’s gravity defying pull. If she had then maybe she wouldn’t have given up everything for him.

Maybe she wouldn’t have pulled away from her family. Maybe she wouldn’t have had the bruises on her arms. Maybe she would have had the broken ribs. Maybe she wouldn’t always flinch when someone raises their arm. Maybe…just maybe she would be Sansa again, the old one with dreams that kept her head in the clouds and stars in her eyes. But maybes can’t fix the past and they only make moving forward harder.

It was because of that terrible relationship that Sansa had to take extra classes just to graduate high school. Nothing was more humiliating then having to stay the first semester of the year after you were supposed to graduate just to finish certain classes and get passing grades. Sansa did it though. She sucked it up as she dealt with Arya’s graduating class. She even sucked it up when she found herself in not only English class, but also biology with her sister.

That worked out in both of their advantages though. Arya was exception in biology, especially when it came down to the dissecting portion while Sansa aced English easily enough and happened to drag Arya to pass with a ‘C’ even though that class bore her to death. Sansa came out for the better though. She got her GPA up enough to graduate and she found herself growing closer and bonding with her little sister.

Horrible beginnings, but eventually a somewhat happily ever after…

Sansa stood over the cough, staring down at Jon who was still laid across the couch, carelessly. Her eyes rove over his sock covered feet to his sweat pant wearing legs to his loose tank top to finally his stubble covered face. His left arm was thrown over his eyes while his right arm hung off the edge of the couch. He looked utterly pathetic.

“Move your legs,” Sansa instructed, lifting her foot up to try and slide underneath his shins and drag his legs off the edge of the couch. Jon didn’t budge. “Come on, Jon! Move your legs, so I can sit too.”

“I don’t want to drink my sorrow away,” Jon grumbled underneath his arm.

Rolling her eyes, Sansa set the shot glasses down on the coffee table then turned to her brother’s best friend with her hands on her hips. She thought about jumping on top of him, but that seemed rather cruel and childish. Her eyes drew to the little sliver of skin revealed between his tank and sweat pants. She was then reminded that Jon had been rather ticklish when he was younger; maybe that still held true today.

Since she wasn’t getting anymore reactions from him, she sighed loudly, dramatically then abruptly sat over his legs and attacked his stomach. Jon shot up immediately, yelling in shock then screaming in laughter as he tried to fight her off.

“Fuck, Sansa! Stop! Stop tickling me!” Jon reached for her hands, managing to grab hold of her left wrist then he pulled her arm high above her head. Sansa didn’t let that deter her though, she scooted up his legs, trying to angle herself, so she could keep him from capturing her other hand.

Jon, instead, started to tickle her armpit connected to her trapped arm, resulting in her screaming in laughter at him. The tickle fight continued on for a minute longer until Jon gave up attacking her and just grabbed her free hand by the wrist until her arms were locked up above them by his. Sansa breathed hard, little giggles slipping pass her lips as she tried to control her breathing. There was a smile on Jon’s lips though, and it made her happy to see it even if it was only going to disappear soon enough.

Then Jon’s eyes drifted down until they stopped, his face suddenly turned bright red. Seeing this, Sansa followed his gaze only to see that she was straddling his hips now, her knees bracing each side of his hips and dangerously sitting on top of him. Instantly, Jon released her wrists and Sansa quickly stumbled off his hips with an equally as bright, red face.

Though that was rather embarrassing, Sansa noted that he was sitting up now, at least. Using this change to awkward silence to her advantage, she sat down then started to open each bottle with slightly shaky hands. The whiskey bottle was the bigger one and when she went to pour some into a shot glass, she almost dropped it entirely. Larger hands caught the bottom of the bottle, steadying her hold.

Glancing over her shoulder, Sansa gave Jon a small smile then poured some whiskey into a shot glass before letting Jon set it down on the coffee table. She moved on to the tequila bottle that was slimmer in shape, so it was easier for her to hold and tip into another shot glass. “Whiskey is your favorite, right?” Sansa asked self-conscious at the fact that she knew that. Nervously, she tucked some hair behind her ear then drew her fingers through her hair, undoing the tucking.

“Yeah,” Jon answered quietly, reaching over to pick up the shot glass. Smiling though there was a nervous tick in her cheek, Sansa picked up her tequila shot then turned to him where her smile settled on her face.

“To,” she paused as she tried to think of something to toast too. Her eyes raised to the ceiling in thought then dropped down to stare into his. Jon arched a brow in waiting. “To never growing too old for tickle fights,” Sansa finally finished, earning a snort from him.

“Aye, to never growing too old for tickle fights,” Jon echoed then lightly tapped his shot glass to hers.

Smiling, they both brought their shot glasses to their lips then threw their heads back as they downed the alcohol. Sansa had thought she was being a good family friend. She thought helping Jon loosen up with some alcohol would be good for him instead of moping about in the basement. Even Theon had thought so.

But maybe there was more to it than that. Maybe, just maybe, Sansa wanted more to it than that, and she got it…

She didn’t know where her shirt was. It had been tugged off her body so quickly, by either her or Jon. Sansa couldn’t quite remember. The only thing she could remember was the way Jon’s eyes widened when he realized she wasn’t wearing a bra underneath. She could even remember the touch of his hands sliding up her ribcage before cupping her breasts so tenderly. The way his hands were rough and yet soft, it brought tears to her eyes to the point that she had to close them.

Sansa didn’t want to cry as she grinded against his hard-on.

Her eyes felt slightly glazed over, but she knew she hadn’t drank nearly enough to be so drunk. Maybe she was drunk off Jon as much as the tequila? Sansa wasn’t sure but didn’t quite care either. Jon’s hands suddenly became fingers that lightly tugged on her nipples. That felt terribly good, so terribly good. Her mouth was wide open, releasing any and all moans and cries. It was good that the basement was practically sound proof though she couldn’t figure out why that was such a good thing anymore.

All Sansa could concentrate on was grinding her core against his dick, rubbing her short-cladded cunt against his sweat pant covered cock. She was practically soaking through her shorts, through her undies, and even though to his pants. She noticed when her eyes opened to draw down to where she was rubbing herself on him. Her hands were planted on his chest, using him as support and balance. Her eyes stopped where his hands were first, taking in the way his index fingers and thumbs rubbed her nipples then plucked at them so deliciously.

A sharp thrust up between her legs brought her loosened attention back on track. Sansa sucked in hair tightly, gasping it really as she took in how soaked through Jon’s pants were. That couldn’t possibly be all from her…right?

“Fffffffff-uck, you’re so beautiful,” Jon moaned, snapping his hips up into her cunt as though he could break through the several pieces of fabric barriers to get to her.

“So are you,” Sansa whispered back though she didn’t know why she was whispering. Jon drew his gaze up from where they stayed connected to her breasts, his eyes were practically black now, she noted as they connected with hers. She wondered how dark her eyes were?

Jon slowly smiled up at her, his eyes dark yet hazy. Seeing him smile, it made her heart beat faster inside her chest. It made little tingles spread from her finger tips through her arms down to her feet and back to her chest. It also made her thought process clearer.

She was topless, grinding against Jon’s cock. They had made out only a few minutes earlier before she pushed him down onto the couch and climbed back to where she previously was for their tickle fight. Mere minutes since she tore her own shirt off her body as she rode and grinded. Sansa knew, she knew this was her moment to stop this. This was her moment of clarity, her moment to realize they were both drunk; Jon was far drunker than her as his alcohol of choice had a far higher percentage than hers and he drank far more shots.

It was her moment to be an adult and stop this before they both regretted it…

“Help me get you out of your pants,” Sansa said breathily, standing up and dropping her shorts and undies as her form of the middle finger to her moment of clarity.

Jon swallowed hard with a large lump moving his throat up and down then he was standing as well, flinging his tank off his back easily then shoving his pants down his legs. He had been shocked her braless state, well she was equally shocked at his boxer-less state.

Quickly, as though she was trying to outrun her clarity and guilt, Sansa laid down upon the couch. She made grabby hands at Jon and he accommodated her swiftly enough with his body suddenly overtop of hers. Then his lips were pressing hard against her own, swallowing her moans and devouring her lips as he deepened the kiss. Jon’s chest was warm and sweaty as it pressed up against hers, but she didn’t care.

She didn’t care for anything at all, expect for Jon touching her, kissing her…fucking her.

His cock pressed between her legs, pushing intently against her wet folds. As they kissed with tongues finding one another and tangling together, Sansa dragged one hand down his back while she dragged the other down his side. With effort from how closely smashed together they were, she squeezed her hand between their bodies until she was able to wrap a hand around his cock. Jon groaned into the kiss, tensing up at her unexpecting touch.

She gave him a few pumps, making sure he was ready though honestly, she just wanted the feel of him in her hands to be imprinted there forever. Sansa pulled away to disengage their kiss before focusing her eyes on his. Slowly, she directed his cock lower then used her other hand that had traveled to his butt cheek to tug him forward until his cock’s head was pushing her cunt’s lips apart for his grand entrance.

His eyes never looked away from hers as he pushed inside her.

Sansa closed her eyes at the feeling of Jon making her body his. She savored the stretch of him and the way her body accommodated him. She almost cried simultaneously in pleasure and despair when he pulled out of her before pushing back in again. The disconnecting and reconnecting of their bodies was so overwhelming, it was taking her breath away.

Jon pulled back, pushing up on his arms to hover over her as his thrusts came faster and faster. His eyes never left hers even when she closed hers to the world. Sansa realized this when she opened her eyes to see him watching her so carefully, so keenly. Maybe he wasn’t as drunk as she thought?

Her hand kept a firm grip on his butt cheek, feeling the clenching of his muscles as he fucked her. It was like she was holding on for the ride. Everything was far more intense than any other time she had sex. Admittedly, they were with one person and he wasn’t exactly very good at it, but she never had thought it could or would be like this with anyone. And yet it was happening with Jon Snow.

Though her bit of clarity was slowly dimming away, Sansa found her lips moving to the thoughts in her mind, leaking out information she’d much rather keep to herself.

“I never…never thought this could feel so good.” Jon nodded, pumping his hips faster, harder.

“Why is it so good now?” Sansa questioned almost brokenly, wondering why it felt so incredible with Jon but not with Joffrey, even before the abuse?

There was only one answer though.

“It’s you…it’s you, Jon…” Sansa then cried out as a sudden orgasm rocked through her body, lighting up her nerves and intensifying the feel of his cock pushing in and out of hers.

Jon grounded out her name through his teeth, slamming into her as he started to reach his peak. Sansa wrapped a leg around his hips, keeping him tightly pressed to her before he moaned loudly and started to slow down. She was so wet down there, she couldn’t even tell if he had finished in her or not.

He did finish in her though, her death grip kept him from pulling out. Even though she logically knew that, Sansa kept wondering if he really did peak inside her. Jon collapsed on top of her, cradling his arms around her head to keep him slightly up, yet that didn’t stop her from trying to keep him pressed up against her. She wanted his weight, his heat, and his sweat.

Sansa realized belatedly, that she wanted all of him…

Jon pressed a soft kiss to her forehead and things started to dissolve further. They didn’t dress though Sansa went to pee and clean herself in the basement bathroom/laundry room. She joined him on the couch afterwards, cuddled up underneath a quilt her mother had made a few years back.

And the rest was history…

\--------------------------------

Or not really…

Sansa stared at him hard, her eyes watered, and she wasn’t sure what she was going to do, but she was sure she was going to be screaming, crying, and projectile vomiting in a few minutes.

How could she not have been expecting the unexpected?

This was all her fault from the beginning…

Her feet were moving her forwarded without her acknowledgement. Suddenly, she was standing by the table, staring down at Jon as he ate. Words warred inside her mouth, fighting to get out but her lips refused to open and release them. What could she tell him?

Hey, Jon, how are you this morning? By the way, remember that night a few months back when we got drunk and fucked. Yeah, well there’s a bun in the oven now so…

“I’m pregnant.”

Those were the words that won the war.

She watched as his spoon slipped through his fingers to drop heavily into the bowl like the bomb she just dropped on him. Cereal and milk spilled over the rim of the bowl onto the hard wood table. His eyes lifted up to take her in, shifting from her fiddling fingers that held the pregnant test within them to her blood-shot eyes.

“What?” Jon mumbled distractedly as his eyes stayed focus on her fingers.

Sansa took a deep breath. In for a penny, in for a pound. She leaned over slowly then set down the stick on the wooden table before him, allowing his eyes to feast on the white plastic stick that told her terrible (or is it?) news. She wondered if the two pink lines were taunting him like they did her?

Jon stared at the pregnant test for quite a while, it was to the point that Sansa could feel a mental breakdown was upon her. Half of her wanted to scream at him to say something while the other half wanted to cry hysterically. It was constant tug-a-war inside her head, she didn’t know which side would win.

His eyes suddenly were back on hers then he was standing up quickly from his chair, he didn’t even notice it falling backwards to the ground at his abruptness.

“Sansa,” Jon said her name so softly, so carefully. It broke the dam inside her.

“I don’t know what to do,” Sansa said thickly as tears spilled over the rims of her eyes. She found herself engulfed in Jon’s arms quickly where she broke down completely. She couldn’t stop from clutching his sleep shirt, digging her fingers into the cloth and skin as she sobbed brokenly into his shoulder.

It was all too much. When had she become the type of person to enjoy the moment and regret it later when the consequences came knocking? This was not something that should happen to her, this was not something the Sansa Stark of old would have allowed to happen.

But she wasn’t the Sansa Stark of old and she hadn’t been…for quite a long time now…

Jon tightened his arms around her as though he intended to suck her into his body to protect her from the consequences of her actions. She wished she could, she wished she could.

As Sansa clutched at his back, she remembered the awful words she had said to him the next morning where they were still naked, cuddled underneath a quilt her mother had made a few years back and hangovers that could end the world if everyone had to endure them.

It was a mistake.

(But had it really been a mistake? Had it not been intentional on her end?)

They shouldn’t have drunk so much.

(But hadn’t she insisted? Hadn’t she had a moment of clarity?)

You’re my brother’s best friend.

(But isn’t he also her friend?)

You just broke up with your girlfriend.

(But he didn’t break up with her, she broke his heart. Hadn’t she just taken advantage of that?)

I’m to going to university in the Vale.

(But did she really want to leave her family behind? Hadn’t she hoped the acceptance letter would be a rejection letter?)

I can’t get involved in a relationship right now.

(But that didn’t stop her from wanting to be with him. Hadn’t stopped her from fucking him.)

I can’t do this.

(But really…she didn’t want him to regret her first. Hadn’t she said all that to save herself from rejection?)

Sansa felt Jon bury his face into her messy hair, breathing deeply into her hair as though to collect his thoughts. She didn’t blame him, it was all a lot to take in. Especially since her life wasn’t the only one changed forever because of her fuck up. His was changed forever too…

“What do we do, Jon?” she asked into his shoulder. Somehow, she managed to sink further into his arms and chest, turning her face from his drenched shoulder to cuddle into his neck. Her nose felt tingly from the brief swipe along the skin of his neck.

“I don’t know, Sansa. But we will figure this out together,” Jon stated strongly, pulling back so he could look her in the eyes. She couldn’t stop herself from looking to him, hoping for guidance though she could see in his eyes that he was just as stressed, just as afraid of the unknown as she was and yet, Jon was trying to strong; for her. “We’ll figure this out together,” he repeated reassuringly, lifting a hand up to swipe at a loose tear that slipped unknowingly from her eye to roll down her cheek.

Sansa mustered up all the energy she didn’t actually have to give him a smile, a watery smile, but a smile none-the-less. His concern, touching, and reassurances helped the tension to leak from her muscles, easing away the stress that made her want to scream, cry, and puke. “Together,” she repeated, more so for herself to remind her that Jon was a good man, a good friend, and a far better human being than she would ever be.

Jon’s jaw tightened suddenly then he abruptly pulled her back into his arms, cradling her to him.

“Everything’s going to be alright,” Jon added softly, whispering the words in her ear. It was comforting, as much as his embrace.

Still, she wondered, does he really believe that? Or was he just saying it to comfort her?

Either way, she hoped he was right…


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jon's POV - Sansa tells the family about the pregnancy and let's just say...it was interesting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm official back from finishing my final college term. I am officially a college graduate! I cannot tell y’all how happy I am! I started going to school four years ago, it took four years of full time working and full-time school, but I managed to get my degree! It is only an associate degree, but I plan to work towards a few certifications in the coming next months to next year (I have an associates in applied science for technical support – IT). But for the time being, I am going to enjoy my freedom from schooling and read, write, and do whatever the hell I want without having to squeeze in school! 
> 
> I have missed writing so damn much, I am flowing, overflowing actually, with creativity and ideas! It's kind of hard to contain it all, hahaha. Anyway, here is the second chapter that y'all been waiting for! Sorry it's so late... ^_~

Jon had never felt so uncomfortable sitting in the Stark’s living room as he did at this very moment while waiting for everyone to take a seat. Ned sat down in his big armchair, normally he would sink in and relax, but right now he was tense with his shoulders practically up to his ears. There was a frown on his lips too, one that indicated that he knew something big was going to happen and that he was already preparing for the worse. Jon tried to avoid his gaze as best as he could, knowing that once everything was said and done…he’d never be considered apart of the family again.

Catelyn perched herself on the arm of the big armchair, her hands placed in her lap demurely, but her eyes were narrow as she took in Sansa slightly pacing back and forth in front of the tv. Mother’s intuition and Sansa’s obvious anxiety placed a stern expression on Catelyn’s face. Her eyes followed her daughter fiercely, but her lips remained in a straight line. Jon knew that perch was so Catelyn could jump to her feet quickly if need be.

He hoped it wasn’t to chase him out of the house forever.

Bran wheeled himself in with Rickon behind him though his face was practically mashed into his phone. By the look on his face, Jon guessed that he was playing some type of game. Bran read the atmosphere quickly enough before turning his chair by the couch. He glanced over at Jon, but he refused to make eye contact with anyone. Sansa was worried about telling her family the situation, but she had nothing to worry about.

Her family was loving, crazy at times, but supportive. Sure, her father would give the old lecture about consequences for your actions, but her mother would hug Sansa as she cried. Jon could tell from her bloodshot eyes that she was going to cry, and her mother would tell her everything would be okay. Then he would be unceremoniously kicked to the curb for his part in the situation.

The situation being Sansa’s unplanned pregnancy.

Robb stepped into the living room, glancing at his sister with an arched brow before taking a drop into the cushion beside Jon. He leaned in to mumble, “What’s got her panties in a wad?”

Jon shrugged, hoping his best friend couldn’t hear the grinding of his teeth. He had told Sansa that everything would be alright, he told her that they’d get through this together, he told her she had options…

\-------

Sansa pulled out of his arms, mumbling underneath her breath as she wiped at her nose. Jon reached over the table to grab a tissue for her. She mumbled a soft, ‘thank you’, then turned her back to him to blow her nose. She looked brittle with shaking shoulders and sniffling, reddened nose. Seeing how much this was affecting her, Jon found himself speaking before he could think his thoughts through.

“You could always abort.”

Sansa whipped around to give him a wide-eyed stare. Her eyes were red with swollen puffs of skin underneath and splotches of red here and there on her face.

“I’ve thought about it,” she admitted. Her eyes dropped from his gaze to stare down at the balled-up tissue in her hands. “It’d be the best-case scenario for both of us.”

Jon felt a hard clenching in his stomach though he gave no visible reaction to what she said. It would be the best-case scenario, but it would hurt him, nonetheless. All he ever wanted was to have a true family, he thought he could get that from Ygritte, but that life wasn’t for her. It wasn’t her style, as she so inarticulately stated when he proposed to her.

_“Sorry, Jon. The married life; kids. That just ain’t my style.”_

Swallowing thickly, Jon attempted to speak, but his words became jumbled inside his throat. Anything he wanted to say were blocked by the tightness, halting him from expressing what he felt deep down. Maybe that was for the best though. It was her body, her absolute final say, and he wasn’t enough of an asshole to tell her otherwise.

“Should I?” Sansa asked softly, finally bringing her eyes away from her clenched fists to assess his response. Whatever she saw made her eyes widen further then she was embracing him much like he had embraced her earlier. “I’m sorry, Jon.”

Pushing aside his feelings, Jon wrapped his arms around her waist, anchoring her to him as he shook his head. “You have no…no reason to apologize. We should…need to do what is best for you. I’ll pay for everything, no questions asked…”

Sansa started to cry again; face burrowed into his shoulder. She tried speaking, but her words were mumbles and sobs that made no sense to him. Then again, Jon wasn’t exactly in the right mind set either. He hurt for the decision they were making, but he hurt even worse for the situation Sansa was placed into.

It was her body, her absolute final say, and…and Jon wasn’t ever going to be that asshole to tell her otherwise.

He wasn’t Joffrey.

\-------

Jon was sure he’d throw up at some point from the nausea he was feeling if he had actually eaten anything today. Sansa wanted to wait until the next day to tell her family of the situation. She wanted to be better collected (ironically) and she wanted to hear what her family thought before deciding on the next course of action. Jon found his voice enough to tell her that she could just go through with the abortion, no one had to know, but she shook her head.

_“It’s my stupid mistake.”_

_“It’s our stupid mistake.”_

_“I want to tell them; I need to know…”_

She never did tell him exactly what she needed to know from her family. If they would accept this mistake? If they would agree to keeping or aborting? Jon figured it was something he probably would never understand; unfortunately.

Sansa did tell him that she wouldn’t say who impregnated her. She didn’t want her family to turn on him. Half of Jon was relieved because he didn’t want to lose the only people who had been a family to him, but the other half felt like a cowardly asshole to let her take the blame. It takes two to tango, as they say. She wouldn’t hear anything of it though, stating firmly that if she decides on aborting then there was no reason to implicate him.

He wasn’t so sure about that though…

“Ok, I’m here! Let’s get this over with, I have somewhere to be!” Arya announced loudly as she entered the living room. She dropped rather ungracefully onto the couch cushion next to Jon with a loud pop of her gum.

Sansa frowned at her sister’s entrance, but quickly shrugged it off now that she had everyone’s attention. He could tell her nerves were getting to her. Jon wondered if she was going to be able to speak at all, or if she might just vomit right then and there.

“Sansa, honey, what is it?” Catelyn asked softly, moving to stand but she quickly waved her mother off. With a deep breath, she glanced around her to catch everyone’s eyes including his.

“There’s no real way to say this properly so…I’m pregnant.”

It was so quiet within the room that Jon thought his hearing went out then like the silence before a bomb explodes, the whole family went off.

“Excuse me!” Catelyn said loudly, jumping to her feet swiftly.

“The fuck, Sans!” Robb yelled also jumping to his feet.

“Ew! I didn’t need to hear this!” Rickon shouted, instantly popping in his earphones and averting his eyes to his phone.

“Holy shit!” Arya cowed, jabbing her elbow into Jon’s arm as though he hadn’t heard the statement himself.

Bran said nothing though his jaw unhinged, and his eyes widened. Ned said nothing either, merely taking everything and everyone in.

“Honey, how did this happen?!” Catelyn pulled Sansa into her arms as the tears dropped from her eyes.

The whole room was in utter chaos as Catelyn kept asking Sansa questions, Robb crossing around the coffee table in rage, Rickon making noises of how grossed out he was, and Arya jabbing him as she explained her amazement that ‘princess perfection’ had fucked up. Jon catch Sansa’s eyes, the terror, the sadness, and how overwhelmed she was by everyone.

“It had better not be that punk ass Joffrey’s!” Robb growled, grabbing Sansa’s shoulder to turn her eyes to his. “Who knocked you up?!”

“Robb, give her some space!” Catelyn yelled, smacking his shoulder.

“I can’t believe little miss perfect is pregnant! This is insane!” Arya exclaimed

“Arya,” Bran grumbled with a stern stare at her.

“Who is it, Sans?”

“Let her breath, Robb!”

“Gross! I really don’t need to know this!”

“This is rich!”

“Arya, have a little compassion!”

“IT’S ME!” Jon shouted above everyone else as he stood. His chest moved heavily with each breath as he took everyone in. Sansa stared at him in shock, as did everyone else in the room. “It was me. I’m sorry.”

Moving like the former varsity linebacker Robb had once been, he rushed towards Jon, hitting him between his eye and cheek with a balled-up fist. Sansa screamed as he went down between the couch and coffee table. Arya jumped from the couch to tackle Robb to the ground as the coffee table unbalanced him.

“I’m going to fucking kill you, Jon!” Robb shouted, moving to stand after pushing Arya off him.

Jon’s vision was spotted with black and white dots, his head throbbed painfully along with his cheek. He attempted to get up from the floor, but his hand slipped on the couch’s fabric and he crumbled to the ground again.

“ENOUGH!” Eddard Stark yelled at the top of his lungs, stopping all the commotion and screaming. Jon winced at the loudness of his voice echoing around the living room.

Though his vision was spotty, he watched as Ned grabbed Robb’s arm, talking to him low but sternly before Robb yanked his arm away then stomped off. Arya followed him out of the living room then Ned stated for everyone else to leave. Bran glanced at Jon with a sympathetic look before turning his chair around and out of the living room with Rickon not far behind him, glancing back at the scene with widen eyes.

Suddenly, there was hand in front of him. It took Jon a moment to recognize Ned’s hand before he took it and was pulled up from the floor. He stumbled then dropped onto the couch much like Arya had a few minutes earlier. Jon bowed his head, both to avoid the looks he was sure Catelyn and Ned were giving him, but also to avoid the bright lights that only increased the migraine occurring in his head.

His face throbbed painfully, especially around his eye. Jon wouldn’t be surprised if he was sporting a black eye for the next few weeks. Robb got him good and he couldn’t feel anything but deserving of it. He heard mumbling between Ned and Catelyn while Sansa took shaky breaths. Jon took that time to think of where else he could possibly go. Maybe Theon could let him crash on his couch for a few days while he looked for another place to live.

Jon took a deep breath and felt his whole body start to shake as the feeling of anxiety and abandonment came over him. Though his left eye was swelling shut, tears started to well up in his eyes. The nausea was even worse now and there was nothing he could do to make it subside. What would he do? Where could he go? Will the Starks ever forgive him? Did he even deserve forgiveness?

Swallowing the thick lump inside his throat, Jon managed to get his voice around it, “I’ll pack up my things and leave.”

“Jon, you don’t need to go anywhere,” Ned stated softly. He opened his eye to look up and find Sansa buried into her father’s arms as he stroked her back and comforted her. His eyes were on Jon though.

“Yes, I do. I don’t deserve to live underneath your roof after everything…” Jon trailed off, wiping away a few stray tears from his cheek.

“And where will you go, Jon?” Catelyn asked sternly, walking into the living room from wherever she had disappeared. She approached him; her brows drawn down over her eyes. She looked less than pleased by the situation and by him, but then she was placing a sandwich bag of ice on the coffee table.

Jon glanced at the bag of ice then back at her before grabbing it and pressing it against his swollen eye. He hissed at the sudden cold against the heat of his throbbing skin. “I’ll find a place, stay with someone first…” he shrugged at the end, unsure of such a plan as it were. He wouldn’t be a bother to the Starks any longer than he already had been.

“And how do you suppose you will support Sansa? If you are away, how can you help her?” Catelyn’s line of questioning was starting to push at Jon’s buttons. Her stern, angry voice nitpicked at him, poking holes in his barely put together plans.

“I’m not abandoning her,” Jon stated darkly, narrowing his single eye at the older woman.

“And I won’t allow you to abandon her. No, you will be staying right where you are.” Her voice brokered no rebuttals then she turned away from him to run a hand down Sansa’s long hair, pulling it back from her redden and wet face. “Have you decided on what you will be doing? Do you plan to keep the baby?”

Sansa shook her head, turning her face enough to peek at her mother without leaving the safe comfort of her father’s embrace. “I wanted to talk with you both about it…” Sansa mumbled into Ned’s shirt. Her eye then drifted from her mother humming her acknowledgement to stare at Jon’s lone eye. Her eye watered some more but she never looked away from him.

“How about you and your mother go talk in our room?” Ned offered, leaning down to press a kiss to the top of Sansa’s head before releasing her to Catelyn’s embrace.

Jon watched them walk out of the living room, feeling shitty and somewhat empty inside as he watched them go. The urge to comfort Sansa himself was strong, he wanted nothing more than to pull her into his arms and whisper promises in her ear. He wanted to let her know he’d never abandon her, that he’d do everything in his power to protect her. But then, how could he possibly protect her when he was the one doing her harm?

Turning his eyes away from where Sansa had left, he watched as Ned collapsed into his armchair with a big sigh. It was quiet for awhile after that with Jon pressing the bag of ice into his swollen, numbing skin and Ned destressing in his armchair with his eyes closed and head leaned back.

“Cat and I were hoping for grandchildren soon, but…not quite this soon,” Ned said with a slight chuckle though it was dry and short. There wasn’t much humor to be had at this moment in time.

Jon glance down at his feet then mumbled, “I wasn’t expecting to have a child any time soon either.”

“Do you care about Sansa?”

Jon whipped his head up fast, finding Ned staring at him with an unreadable expression. He realized that he wasn’t being asked if he loved Sansa, only if he cared for her.

“I do.”

“I know…” Ned started, pursing his lips together thoughtfully as he gathered his words before continuing, “I know that you and Ygritte didn’t work out and that sometimes things happen when we are…hurt and lost. Whatever my daughter’s decision, I hope that you stick by her side.”

Jon found the lump in his throat had somewhat dissolved, allowing him to swallow easily as he took in Ned’s words. He could see that Ned was angry at the situation, Sansa had only just graduated a few months ago from high school and had been preparing for college. It was an unfortunate situation born from them both hurting from an early relationship. It seemed Ned understood to an extent without knowing the whole truth and still, he was putting trust in Jon to make the right decision and stick by Sansa’s side.

He’d rather die then leave her side in all of this.

“I’ll be with her, every step of the way,” Jon answered softly, making sure to stare back into Ned’s eyes, so he knew he was telling the truth.

With a nod, Ned stood, stretching his arms up above his head before leaving Jon alone in the living room. The quietness eloped him, surrounding him as he sat there and stewed in his anxiety and sudden bout of loneliness. After another minute, he pushed himself up to his feet and left the living room to head down to the basement.

Flicking the light on from the top of the stairs, he made his way down, taking a step at a time with just one eye open and working. By the time he got to the last two steps, he noticed he wasn’t alone down here. Jon jumped as he saw Arya sitting on the couch, flicking around on her phone before looking up slowly to stare at him.

It seemed it was Arya’s turn to ream him for his mistakes.

“Arya,” Jon greeted gruffly, walking over to the couch and collapsing on the other side. She didn’t say anything right away, but he could feel her eyes on him as though anticipating when to make the kill.

“Out of all the women you could have slept with, it had to be my sister,” Arya questioned almost nonchalantly and upon tilting his head to look at her, she didn’t look particular angry or pissed at him. It was more like confusion, if nothing else.

“We were drinking.”

“Of course, you were.”

“It was a stupid mistake,” Jon added, trying to keep from getting annoyed by how unaffected she was with this.

“We all make stupid mistakes,” she noted, typing on her phone with her thumbs.

“I was lonely and hurt,” he continued, wondering why he was spilling his guts like she was one of the Seven and he was asking for forgiveness.

Maybe he was though. Aside from Robb, Arya was like a little sister to him. He loved how much they looked like each other, almost like they could have been siblings in another lifetime. If Robb didn’t understand him then Arya did. Jon couldn’t lose her like he was obviously losing Robb. Maybe that was why he was explaining himself so pathetically.

“I’m sure Sansa was lonely and hurt too.” Her nonchalance was starting to rub him the wrong way.

“We should never have been drinking that night.”

“But you did,” she countered, turning her eyes back on him. “And you let your loneliness and hurt get the better of you; you both did.”

“Holy shit, Arya, why aren’t you angry at me?!” Jon barked out.

“Oh, I am angry with you, I’m just trying to understand why you would use my sister like that and why she would use you like that.” Jon felt like he was at a loss of words and exasperated with this whole ordeal between them. Now he was confused with her.

“What do you want me to say, Arya? That I’m sorry I slept with Sansa? That I was too stupid to realize I shouldn’t have been drinking, much less with her?” Jon bit out, frustration coloring his tone as he spoke. He fucked up, yes, but he was never a saint to begin with. He didn’t want to let his friends down, he didn’t want to let the Starks down, but he did, and it was so frustrating because he had done it and he had to live with it.

“Well for starters, you were supposed to go see that therapist a few weeks ago,” Arya commented dryly, glancing back at her phone briefly before pinning her gaze on him.

Jon paused in her response, remembering how Ned had pulled him aside, giving him a card and telling him to go talk to someone, that he’d feel better if he was able to get his feelings out.

“I was going too,” he mumbled slowly, knowing that he really had no interest in talking to some old guy about his problems.

“But you didn’t and now my sister is pregnant at nineteen, right before she’s about to go off to college. That’s just as bad as getting pregnant in high school.”

“If she wants to abort, she can.”

“And you don’t think that won’t affect her either way?” Arya questioned with an arched brow. She then stared hard at him and Jon realized he was letting her see whatever Sansa had seen the other day.

“Sansa is not a replacement for Ygritte,” she added heatedly, but her eyes showed sympathy.

“I know that!” Jon roared, jumping up so abruptly that he was slightly winded and dizzy. “I’m not using her as a replacement,” he added once he sat down to control the dizziness, placing a hand on her forehead to make the room stop spinning.

“Does she know that?”

Jon pursed his lips together. No, she probably didn’t, but then he didn’t know if he was a replacement for Joffrey either. They hadn’t really talked about what they’d done, only the aftermath and consequence of that drunken night.

“Look Jon, I’m not going to sit here and pretend I understand how you could sleep with Sansa. You two are almost complete opposites like me and her, but I know you will stick by her, no matter her decision. I trust you to do that.” Arya stood up then, walking past him to the stairs before turning to say over her shoulder, “If you hurt her though…I’ll make sure you never get anyone pregnant ever again…”

The way she said ‘ever again’ brought a shiver down his spine. Jon merely nodded, watching her walk up the stairs and out of the basement. His thoughts were jumbled, and a headache was starting to wreak havoc in his head, so he moved the lay down, staring up at the ceiling while his head started to throb.

He wondered what Sansa’s decision would be. Would she keep the baby, or would she abort? It was her decision; he’d go with either. She’d tell him once she decided…right?

Jon closed his eye as a wave of melancholy came over him. It wasn’t only for his earlier thoughts, but also for the possibly ruined friendship with Robb. The look of anger he directed to Jon was downright terrifying. Robb was always super protective of his siblings. In school, he was considered the Stark watchdog, no one messed with his siblings without getting messed up back.

He was even like that with his friends. When Theon had gotten hooked on crack because of Ramsay Bolton, he damn near killed the guy. His jaw was wired shut for weeks because of Robb. If it wasn’t for Eddard Stark being a defense attorney, Robb would have been in jail right now. Currently, he was stuck with an ankle bracelet at the house, but that would be coming off in a few more weeks. Just before college classes started…

As he laid there, thinking about how much Robb probably hated his guts, he heard steps on the stairway.

“Jon?” Sansa called out with a thick voice, alluding to her crying.

“Aye,” Jon replied, sitting up slowly as she reached the bottom of the stairs. He took her in with her swollen eyes, red and pale skin tone. She looked extremely tired as well.

“How are you feeling?” she asked softly, moving to the small bathroom underneath the stairs.

“Like I got punched by a former linebacker,” Jon grumbled, pulling the mostly water sandwich bag. His eye still hurt, but he wasn’t throbbing like earlier, nor was it so blazing hot either.

Sansa came out a moment later with a mug he leaves by the sink and some headache medicine from the looks of it. Why was she doing this, he wondered as he took the mug and pills. Why was she always so kind even when he was least deserving of it?

She seated herself on the coffee table, facing him with her hands squeezed between her thighs. She was biting her lip, staring down into her lap. He could tell she had something to say, possibly her decision.

“I’m sorry Robb hit you,” Sansa said instead, glancing up to stare at his swollen face. Jon shrugged.

“I deserved it,” he commented.

“No, you didn’t. I’m an adult and I made an adult decision. He had no right to hit you like you…” Sansa paused briefly, swallowing hard before whispering, “like you raped me.”

“I was drunk…” Jon trailed off as he started to feel green with sickness. Had he raped her? She wasn’t in control of herself…oh gods…

“So was I,” Sansa hissed angrily. “You didn’t take advantage of me, so don’t you dare begin to think otherwise. Okay, Jon.”

He looked up to see the determination in her eyes, he nodded though he couldn’t get the thought out of his head. Sansa must have seen that or known in some way because she grabbed a hold of his face causing him to hiss when she touched his swollen cheek.

“I need you to verbally confirm this to me. We were both drunk and we were both not in control of ourselves. Repeat that to me, Jon,” she insisted, staring deeply into his one eye.

Swallowing, he repeated, “We were both drunk and we were both not in control of ourselves.”

They stared at each other for almost a minute, Sansa still holding his face in her soft, caring hands. Jon didn’t want her to ever let go.

As he stared into her beautiful blue eyes, he asked, “Have you decided?”

Sansa licked her lips, her stare lessening in her intensity as she considered his question then she let her hands fall from his face to settle into her lap again. He already missed her hands on him.

“I talked with Mom and then Dad…I should…I should abort, I’m still living at home, my college career will be delayed severely, and I’m not…with the baby’s father…”

Jon almost opened his mouth, he almost told her they could change that, but he physically bit down on his tongue. He had no right to such a suggestion; he didn’t deserve her.

“It won’t be easy, it’ll probably be the hardest thing I have ever done but…” Sansa paused to gaze softly at him, it took his breath away. Why was she looking at him like that? “But I committed to making that mistake when we were drunk, so I’m going to commit to the consequences of our actions as long…as you are by my side the whole way. I don’t want to have a baby without a father, and I want you in my life too.”

“I will be by your side, no matter what. I know what it’s like to not have a father in my life and I won’t ever let a child of mine feel that way.” Sansa started to tear up, mumbling ‘thank you’ to him.

Jon felt his own eye tear up then he pulled her into a hug, letting her crying into his shoulder. He was scared and happy, and it was such a strange mixture of feelings. The last time he felt this way was when he asked Ygritte to marry him and that hadn’t ended so well. No, he didn’t need to think about that right now. Sansa was committed to having the baby and he was more than committed to being in her and the baby’s life.

Even if that meant only co-parenting and nothing else…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanna put it out there, I am and will always be pro-choice. Ain't no one elses business what you do with your body but yourself. But yeah, I'm sure y'all knew she was going to keep the baby. I mean it is called expecting the unexpected, lol. There was a moment though where I thought about her going through with the abortion and seeing where a relationship between Jon and Sansa would go, but that would be something very long and drawn out, maybe another time if people are interested? 
> 
> Anywho, please let me know whatcha think!? ^_~


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I both like and sort of dislike this chapter. It's a Sansa chapter and I like everything I wrote but I feel the ending kind of...dropped. I dunno. I was hitting road blocks with this chapter, but hopefully y'all like it! ^_~

Lately, Sansa has found a new friendship with the toilet. Morning sickness, evening sickness, midnight sickness. It didn’t matter what time of day it was; she’d find herself rushing to the bathroom to vomit out whatever she had managed to eat earlier. The sickness only started to become frequent two weeks after finding out about the pregnancy and going to the doctors to learn that she was almost nine weeks pregnant. The baby was about the size of a cherry now, at least, that’s what they say online and in the baby book her mother gave her.

Even her belly had a tiny bump as well. With her flat stomach, it was easy to see. It made it all seem so much more real than even the sickness and the pregnancy test could provide. That tiny little bump that forced her taunt, flat stomach to pitch forward slightly.

Arya was the first to point it out.

“That’s creepy, you’re already getting a belly,” Arya commented as Sansa stared at the little baby bump in the bathroom mirror. Her tank top was pulled up to under her breasts as she stared at her belly in wonder.

“It’s so strange,” she mumbled back, bringing a hand down to stroke the bump.

“It’s like a parasite,” Arya added, staring hard at her stomach.

“Arya!” Sansa shouted, turning to her sister in disbelief.

“What!?” Arya yelled back, throwing her hands in the air. “It technically is a parasite! It feeds off your body and nutrients without giving anything back! Don’t you remember biology class?”

Sansa stared at her for a hard minute then snorted before they were both laughing. Tears started to well up in her eyes.

“Okay, I understand what you mean, but don’t call my baby a parasite!”

Arya waved her off. “Fine, fine! When do you find out what it is?”

Sansa stopped to consider her question. Lately, out of all her siblings, her sister had been the one to hang around her the most, asking these questions and talking about anything and everything. She may have thought Sansa’s growing belly was creepy, but the amount of time she was giving Sansa was creepier. Well, really it was sweet and made her even more emotional than she was already.

“Doctor Tarth said to have an accurate identification it would be around twenty weeks or so,” Sansa answered after a moment of thought. She was really glad she ended up meeting Doctor Brienne Tarth. She was an extremely tall woman, standing taller than most of the males at the doctor’s office.

She was kind though, talking with Sansa and her mother about what the technician would do and talking about the stages of pregnancy. Not once did Sansa feel like she was being talked down to, not like the receptionist who raised an eyebrow when she saw Sansa’s date of birth then sighing dramatically afterwards. Her mother made a scathing remark before they sat down, making the woman’s face color red.

She had wanted Jon to be there too, but he was at work during the appointment. He promised though, that he’d be going to the next one and he’d make sure to ask for it off. Jon worked at the veterinary’s office in Wintertown where her uncle Benjen was the head vet. Robb and Jon would work over the summer at the vets, cleaning animals and their byproducts, feeding them, and assisting wherever was needed.

Robb came out never wanting to consider being a vet and Jon came out wanting nothing more than to be a vet. Uncle Benjen took him under his wing, giving him a good recommendation at the veterinary school over in the Barrowlands. It was a bit of a drive, but they provided night classes during the fall and spring semesters while he worked during the day at the vet office. He wasn’t only interested in taking care of house pets or farm animals either, Jon was also interested in wildlife in general.

She could remember a time when they were younger where Jon was interested in becoming a Ranger out beyond the Wall to study the wildlife out there. She was sure it was still a possibility once he gets his license and degree. Sansa could see him dressed in a heavy winter coat, thick boots, and ski cap on his head while out beyond the Wall. He would be good at it, she was sure. He just had to get his schooling done with and intern with her uncle first.

Jon was supposed to be taking summer classes, but after his and Ygritte’s relationship fell apart, he dropped his classes and took the rest of the summer off. Hopefully, he would be attending fall semester, he was close to graduating. Thinking of schooling, it reminded her that she needed to check if her transfer went through.

After much deliberation and her father’s pushing, Sansa started the process of transferring and starting at Winterfell University instead of Vale University. It was over in the Eyrie where her aunt and uncle lived, up in the mountains. It was a very good school, and she had hoped to get an English degree there, though it wasn’t like she couldn’t get one at WFU either, but she mainly wanted to move out and explore the world, so to speak. Going to a university outside of her hometown had been a way for her to be her own person, but now…it was safer to stay close to home and close to Jon.

Her mind went to Jon and her heart fluttered inside her chest, but a linger of guilt weighted down the fluttering until she felt a bit sick to her stomach, or was that the pregnancy?

Either way, she still felt guilty over the whole matter. It was her fault they got drunk in the first place, on top of Sansa feeling she had taken advantage of Jon while in his depressive state. She had only wanted him to lighten up and when he was drunk, he tended to be funnier and smile so much more; that was all she wanted, was to make him smile. She just wanted him to be happy again…

“Are you okay?” Arya asked wearily, eyeing Sansa over from her position seated on the bathroom counter.

Sansa looked at her in confusion before realizing she was crying. Quickly, she wiped away the tears, giving a choked laugh as she said, “Hormones.”

Arya pressed her lips together, seemingly unconvinced, but she let it go as she pushed off the counter. “I’m gonna go hang out with Gendry and HP. Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yes, Arya, I’m okay,” she said as she waved her sister off. “Go have fun.”

Her sister lingered for a moment then turned and left her behind in the bathroom. Sansa turned back to her reflection, her eyes immediately going down to her tiny bump. Only a few more months before they would see the baby, hold it in her arms and cuddle it with love. She wondered, what the baby would look like? Would Jon’s dark hair and grey eyes dominate over her red hair and blue eyes? Or would the baby look like a mixture between them? The possibilities seemed endless and exciting, even more so when she thought of the baby’s gender.

Girl or boy?

Sansa had always wanted a girl when she was younger and fantasied her future, but now she didn’t really care what the baby’s gender would be. She just hoped the baby was healthy and that both she and Jon could provide happiness for their baby. The thought of Jon and parenting with him gave another fluttering in her stomach.

A week earlier they decided to fix up the basement, turning it into more of a bedroom for Jon. Her father insisted upon it when he looked at how cramped it was with all of Jon’s belongings still boxed away. If they planned on him sticking around throughout the pregnancy and birth, then it only felt right to make him feel at home. So, Jon, her father, Arya, and Rickon worked on fixing up the basement to better resemble an actual bedroom, removing the old couch to the garage for Jon’s bed and such.

Robb refused to help though.

Sansa had tried talking to Robb about the whole ordeal, same as her parents, she assumed, but he didn’t want to talk about it. She had a feeling it was a sense of betrayal he felt over it, and hopefully, with time, he’ll come around. Jon and Robb have been best friends since they were six years old, she couldn’t understand how her brother could hold such a grudge against someone who was like another brother to him. They were so close, it hurt her to see the damage their mistake had caused.

She could see how much if affected Jon as well. His face was healing up slowly, but he looked just as depressed as ever before especially when Robb walked pass him in the hall or ignored his existence at dinner. He also avoided talking to her, but she could deal with his butthurt feelings, she couldn’t deal with the way he was treating his best friend though, and luckily, Theon felt the same way when he visited a few days ago.

He was doing better after completing rehab and moving in with his sister, it was a slow recovery process, but it was running smoothly. Theon even looked like he was gaining some weight again from the thin frame he had become when he was addicted to crack. His face was clearing up and he almost resembled the old Theon they knew and loved. He hugged everyone, talked briefly then disappeared into the basement with Jon for a few hours.

It wasn’t long before he was marching up the stairs to Robb’s room, banging on his door until her brother let him in. Everyone could hear the arguing happening upstairs, her mother frowning as she glared up at the ceiling but didn’t bother to intervene. Theon eventually came down, looking even more like his old self than earlier and spent some time with her.

Talking to Theon had its ups and downs, before Ramsay, he was always talking in innuendos every chance he got. Sometimes Sansa wasn’t sure if he even knew how to talk without insinuating a perverted joke within the sentence. Now, he spoke straight with feeling and shied away from the old persona he used to have. They talked well into the night in the living room about everything. Theon admitted feeling a bit guilty over his suggestion of alcohol to liven Jon up considering how it all turned out.

She waved him off, telling him it wasn’t his fault and he said something to her that jolted her very core.

“It’s not your fault either.”

Sansa wasn’t so sure about that, but the way Theon looked at her, she knew that he knew about her long-time crush. Yet, there seemed to be something more within that look as well like a secret he knew that he wasn’t telling.

Regardless, she still felt guilty.

Sighing, Sansa turned away from her reflection in the mirror as she tugged her down her tank top to cover herself again. She walked out of the bathroom, flicking the light switch off as she went. Walking almost aimlessly through the hallway, her eyes caught sight of Robb’s door and upon crossing in front of it, she found him lounging on his bed, one arm propped behind his head and the other holding up his phone while he scrolled through something.

Sansa found herself stalling as she stared at her older brother. They hadn’t really spoken much and not from a lack of trying on her part either. She had tried speaking to him the very next day after revealing her pregnancy, but he just kept walking away from her. Clearly, he just wanted to stu in his anger.

He could be such a meat head sometimes.

“Sans?”

Sansa shook her head, realizing that she completely paused in front of his door and drew his attention to her. Robb’s brow was arched up in question, his phone laid on the bed; face down. Without thinking too much about it, she walked into his bedroom and pushed the door shut. Immediately, he sat up straight.

“We need to talk,” Sansa stated firmly.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Robb answered testily, getting up off his bed and stalking over to his desk.

“You don’t get to do that, Robb. You don’t get to decide when we can talk when this is about my life, not yours.” He snorted, turning around to face her with a frown.

“I don’t want to talk.”

“Fine then you can listen, and I’ll talk!” Sansa huffed, walking over to seat herself on his bed with her arms crossing over her chest as she glared at him. When he proceeded to say nothing, she began, “Jon and I got drunk, and we fucked unprotected.”

“Fuck, Sansa!” Robb groaned, throwing himself back into his desk’s chair.

“We made a mistake and now we’re handling the consequences, but I can’t do this if you don’t talk to me or him. It’s not fair that you’re-you’re trying to punish us for our actions that has nothing to do with you!” Robb flinched, turning his face towards the window over his desk. “I don’t understand you, Robb…”

It was quiet for a few minutes between them. Sansa wondered if she should just leave as it seemed like he wasn’t going to respond to her or explain himself, or anything! Tears welled up in the corners of her eyes, but she willed herself to not cry.

“I’m your big brother and you’re my little sister,” Robb stated blandly.

Sansa rolled her eyes. “Arya is your little sister.”

“No,” Robb turned around to face her. “Arya is my baby sister; you are my little sister just like Bran is my little brother and Rickon is my baby brother. I’m the big brother, I’m supposed to be able to protect everyone.”

“Robb, you can’t protect us from our own mistakes,” Sansa muttered, shaking her head at him.

“I know, I know. That doesn’t change the fact that I want to, that I feel this need to. Fuck, I’m not good with feelings, Sans.” Robb stood up, walking over to sit beside her. He took a deep breath, releasing it slowly. She wondered if his therapist taught him that. “I’m angry and disappointed with both of you, I guess.”

“Why?” Sansa questioned, reaching over to grab his hand into hers.

Robb shrugged his shoulders. “I dunno.”

“Then guess.”

He looked up to smile slightly, shaking his head with confusion on his face. “I guess I’m mad because that’s my best friend and you’re my little sister, and you both aren’t supposed to mix in that way…and…I…feel sort of…betrayed, I guess. I dunno, Sansa. I’m mad that I didn’t protect you but I’m also mad because you were reckless, and you’re not supposed to be the reckless one.”

“Oh, and that’s supposed to be you?”

“Yeah, and Arya,” Robb stated. Sansa found a laugh uttering from her throat at how certain he was of his statement. “I’m confused on your intentions and his, why did you do it, Sansa?”

That made her pause and any relief she was feeling with their talk started to evaporate instantly. It seemed no matter what she did, guilt was never far behind her. Sansa pulled her hand from his, twiddling her fingers together in her lap as she thought of what she was going to say.

“I just wanted Jon to not be so sad anymore…and I didn’t want to be either…”

Robb stared at her for a good minute. He could be hotheaded, a meathead as well, but her older brother could always read her so well. It’s probably why he was so protective of her, she guessed. They were always the closet as siblings, sometimes Sansa wondered if they should have been twins.

“You’re too smart to do something like this, Sansa. Too careful, too guarded. I feel like you’re not telling me everything.” A streak of fear curdled down her back, settling sourly in her stomach.

Could she tell him about her moment of clarity? How she ignored it because she wanted Jon too much? Could she tell him how she practically took advantage of Jon in his fragile state of mind?

Robb was watching her carefully, waiting almost expectantly for her to tell him. Her lips wouldn’t move though, her throat closed up and her mouth remained clamped. No, she couldn’t tell him everything. Sansa was still trying to contend with herself over her decision, over her guilt.

“Okay,” Robb said softly, reaching over to pull her into a hug. “Tell me when you’re ready.”

Sansa merely nodded into his shoulder, hugging him tightly. What if she was never ready? Her tears came back, but still, she refused to let them fall.

As they started to part ways with Sansa about to walk out of Robb’s bedroom, she stopped then turned back to him. “Please talk with Jon.” It was a simple request and she had a feeling most of his feelings of betrayal had to do with his best friend rather than his sister.

“Yeah, alright,” Robb answered, nodding.

Sansa found it in herself to smile before leaving him be. Hopefully, Robb would be good to his word and speak with Jon soon. He hadn’t mentioned it to her personally, but Jon was missing his best friend sorely. And wasn’t that just setting her guilt aflame again?

In a pit of jealousy, Sansa once thought that Ygritte was no good for Jon, but it seemed it was rather the opposite, wasn’t it? It was because of her that he got punched by his best friend, she took advantage of him while he was drunk by her doing, and he was now looked at differently in her household while also almost losing his best friend too.

Why couldn’t she have just stopped when she had the chance?! All this turmoil, stress and anxiety would be non-existent if only she had stopped herself.

Sansa closed her bedroom door abruptly then all but collapsed onto her bed. She threw an arm over her eyes while her other hand came to rest on her little baby bump. If she hadn’t decided to keep the baby then most of her stress would be gone, not the guilt, but the stress and anxiety would be.

Thinking about her decision brought up the memory of her talking with her mother after announcing the pregnancy…

\-------

Sansa allowed her mother to pull her away from the living room, her eyes glimpsed Jon staring after them with one eye swelling shut and the other appearing so sorrowful and desolate. Her heart ached for him so heavily. She was shocked that he decided to tell everyone, but then, she was becoming bombarded by questions and everyone was speaking loudly.

It was no wonder he snapped.

Her mother shut the door quietly behind them then lead her to sit on her bed. Sansa crossed her arms over her chest, almost curling into herself and Catelyn sat down beside her with an arm around her shoulders.

“Do you need any water, dear?” Catelyn asked sweetly, pushing aside Sansa’s hair from her red and wet face. She shook her head; she wasn’t sure she’d be able to keep it down right now. “What happened, Sansa?”

Sansa blinked rapidly, pursing her lips together as she tried to decide on how she could tell her mother the situation without her blowing up, but after a moment of contemplating, she opted to tell her mostly the truth. There was no point in lying, the damage was already done, so to speak.

“I wanted to get Jon out of his mopey state, so I got a friend to get me alcohol and I figured that would help. We drank and talked and…” Sansa strayed off, insinuation openly there for interpretation. “I wasn’t thinking clearly when I knew better, and I forgot that we didn’t use a condom or anything.”

Catelyn stroked her back and hair, giving her comfort as Sansa tried her best to hold back her sobs. “I feel so stupid! I know better!”

“Sweetheart, there’s no need to beat yourself up over this. The deed is done and there’s nothing you can do to change your actions, only what you can do now,” her mother sagely stated, pressing a soft kiss to her temple.

“I know, but I feel so awful!” Sansa cried out, turning her face into her mother’s shoulder as though she could hide away from her shame.

“Shhh, shhh, breath deeply, it’s okay.” She soaked up her mother’s words and touch, hoping it would ease the pain and ache inside her heart. It did, if only a little bit. “Do you have a plan figured out?” her mother asked softly, petting her hair.

“I’m not sure…”

Catelyn rocked Sansa for a few minutes, helping her calm down and think clearly. She went back and forth over if she should abort or keep the baby. She never thought she would ever have to make such a decision before. The hardest decisions she made was what to wear, what college to apply to, and what she wanted to eat for lunch. Now she was deciding a good chunk of her future that she wasn’t remotely prepared for.

“Have you thought about how this will affect your schooling?” Catelyn questioned, pulling away to look over Sansa’s face. She shrugged uselessly. “Sansa dear, you really need should have thought more clearly about this.”

“I only found out yesterday,” Sansa stated dejectedly, drawing her eyes down to the floor. There was so much panic and fear inside her head, she hadn’t thought out exactly what she planned to do beyond telling her parents and siblings.

“Well,” Catelyn started, brushing back Sansa’s hair from her face lovingly, “if you don’t have the baby then nothing changes for schooling, but if you do have the baby…” she trailed off thoughtfully, leaving it blank for Sansa to fill.

“You could transfer to Winterfell University.” Sansa jumped upon hearing her father fill in the blank instead.

He smiled lovingly at her, shutting the door behind him before walking over to sit beside her, opposite her mother. “You know I’d rather you stayed closer to home anyway,” Ned added in a slight grumble, but he was still smiling at her.

Sansa nodded; she was leaning towards keeping the baby as it is. Even when she found out yesterday and went to Jon so soon after…she was pretty sure that she would keep the baby. There was so many obstacles and decisions, but the look in Jon’s eyes when she told him. He was shocked but there was this glimmer in his eyes. She knew he wanted nothing else but family, craved it practically by how much he spent his childhood and onward at the Stark house.

The thought that he might have that, a family of his own especially after how things had fallen through with Ygritte. Sansa found herself thinking about how a family dynamic would work between her and Jon. He was quiet, but thoughtful with observant eyes. He enjoyed children, she could remember him playing games with Bran and Rickon when they were younger, running around the backyard with them when they could drag him away from Robb.

Jon was smart though at times withdrawn. He gave the effect of thinking before he spoke though when he was heated, he could sometimes pop off, but they were rare enough that Sansa had only witnessed him losing his temper once. Jon was also endlessly loyal and determined. He’d make a great father, Sansa thought, but would she make a good mother?

Growing up, she had been selfish at times and a bit of an airhead as well. Living in her endless fantasy world as a girl then trying to be popular in middle and high school. Yet, she had always been the one left with her little brothers, always commented on how mature she was with smaller children. She probably changed as many diapers as her father had when Rickon was born. There were mistakes that Sansa wished she hadn’t made like dating Joffrey, not focusing on her classes as she should, and her current predicament.

Would she make a good mother?

“Whatever your decision is, sweetheart, you know we’ll be beside you every step of the way,” Ned declared softly, pulling Sansa into his arms with his lips pressed to the top of her head.

She wrapped her arms tightly around her father, soaking up his warmth and love. There was so many unknowns, some many what-ifs, it was truly making her head spin. Should she keep the baby? Should she not? Should she continue with school? Should she put her dreams on hold if she has the baby? So many roads to travel down, so many confusing, life-altering roads and Sansa was standing at the main fork between keeping and aborting the baby.

One path was easier and less life-altering, but was that really true? Would there be regret if she aborted the baby? Would there be heartbreak over the child that could have been? How would this change the relationship between her and Jon?

The other path was harder, changing with curves and ups and downs. Would she regret putting her life on hold for a baby with a man she crushed and cared about heavily, but was not with? Could they truly parent well together? Could there be a future between them as more than co-parents?

All Sansa could see in her mind was the look on Jon’s face when she told him she was pregnant. The fear, the concern, and the hope. He would never force her to do something she did not want to do, that wasn’t who Jon was even if he truly wanted it. He was almost hopelessly selfless.

Maybe she could be too.

She started everything, started them both on this path. Sansa had laid awake the previous night, wondering the ifs and buts, trying to deal with her guilt and the consequences of her actions. She had laid a hand on her stomach and maybe she had already made the decision then without realizing it.

Maybe she had known all along.

“I think I’ll transfer to Winterfell and take a class or two before the baby is born,” Sansa finally stated as she pulled back from her father’s embrace.

\-------

She had talked the logistics of her decision with her parents, including the coparenting with Jon though her mother seemed less than impressed with him. Sansa never understood her mother’s animosity towards him, but she let slide the comments for now.

Her head had started to feel rather heavy, so she announced she wanted to lay down in her room for a bit, but before then, she would visit with Jon and let him know her decision. Seeing that glimmer of hope in his eyes, it warmed her being when he pulled her into a hug as they agreed to be there for each other and their baby.

It still didn’t stop the guilt at her actions though. Sansa wondered if she was being too hard on herself, but then she remembers that moment of clarity where she should have stopped them from going any further. That damn moment of clarity where she knew going further would not only change their relationship with each other, but that she was taking advantage of him in his depressed, drunken state.

She needed to talk to someone about this before the guilt ate away at her completely.

Sansa grabbed her phone off the charger on her nightstand, typing in her password before bringing up messages. She quickly types out, “Are you busy?”

It was only a few seconds before three dots started dancing then, “No, call me.”

She hit the phone icon in the corner of the IM message.

“What’s wrong?” Margaery asked instead of a proper hello.

“I took advantage of him,” Sansa answered, her throat suddenly becoming thick. Damn her hormones!

“Oh sweety, we’ve talked about this.”

Sansa shook her head, flipping over onto her right side with her phone cradled between her ear and pillow. “But I did!”

“Sansa, just because you had a second of clarity does not mean you took advantage of him. You were both drunk, how do you know it was true clarity? You both damn near drank all of the alcohol you brought.”

“I was on top of him and I knew that was my moment to stop everything, to stop us…” Sansa trailed off brokenly, curling up into a ball as hiccups erupted from her chest. “He was depressed, and I took advantage of that…”

“Who kissed who first?” Marg asked firmly.

Sansa stopped to think, but she couldn’t quite remember. She remembered quite a few things from that night, but she couldn’t remember who had started it. There was laughing, brief touches, and slamming back shot after shot, but…she couldn’t bring up even a fuzzy memory of her kissing Jon first, or him kissing her first.

“I dunno.”

“Then how can you really know you took advantage of him; you barely remember that night aside from some steamy highlights you told me. You came down there to cheer him up, help him feel something other than brooding and depression. Was it the best idea? Probably not, but your intentions were innocent, Sansa. You have got to stop torturing yourself over this.”

“But I feel like my intentions weren’t innocent though,” Sansa countered though she had stopped crying enough to relax, her chest hurting just a little bit less.

“Why? Because you have had a massive crush on him since you were ten? Sansa, sweety, you’re not manipulative or sinister enough to think of something like that. Me, probably, but not you. Has Jon ever gave you an inkling that he believed you took advantage of him?” Marg asked confidently. Her confidence in what she was saying helped breath more confidence in Sansa.

“No.”

“Did you get Theon to buy that alcohol with intentions of getting Jon drunk to seduce him?”

“No,” Sansa breathed out, her chest feeling lighter.

“Did you drop kick Jon to the ground, force him to strip and ride him with his hands pinned to the ground as he screamed ‘no’ and ‘stop it’?”

“Margaery!” Sansa yelled out.

“Well did you?”

“No!”

“Then stop thinking you took advantage of him! You were both equally drunk and not thinking clearly. I know you like the back of my hand and I’d like to think I know Jon pretty well, neither of you would ever do that with a clear, sober mind. I mean, sweety, you’re going to be having his baby, you can’t keep putting yourself through this,” Marg stated sternly.

“Maybe I should go to therapy?” Sansa sighed, flipping onto her back and wiping away the tear trails from her cheeks.

She knew Marg was right, that there was more to the whole situation than her taking advantage of him when they were both drunk, regardless of her moment of clarity. She felt better now, but realistically, she knew the guilt would be back.

“It wouldn’t hurt,” Marg stated softly.

“Thank you.”

“Oh love, you know I will always talk sense into you. Go take nap, I have an appointment I need to get to.”

Sansa said her goodbye and laid there, staring up at her ceiling. Margaery was right and she always did know how to talk Sansa down or give great advice when she needed it most.

They had met in high school when Marg had decided to join an exchange program between their schools. Normally, it was a foreign exchange program between Westeros and Essos, but considering how large Westeros was, they sometimes allowed exchanges between regions. Margaery came from Highgarden down far South and she decided she wanted a change of scenario and came to Winterfell for a year.

It was before Joffrey had entered Sansa’s life and it had been the best year of her whole high school career. Jeyne Poole had just moved to another town and was out of the school’s district, leaving Sansa mostly alone her sophomore year. She met Margaery in their English class, seated beside each other as Marg was the last T and Sansa started the S.

They greeted each other then clung to each other at lunch and were inseparable since.

Marg had to go back home after the year was over though she spent a whole month with the Starks first. Sansa missed her dearly her junior and senior year, but they never stopped talking. Sansa had even come down during the summer for two weeks with Marg’s family where she had developed a crush on Loras.

Unfortunately, Loras was not into women in the least.

It was funny how all of that seemed to be a lifetime ago now. Sansa sighed; the weight of guilt had lifted somewhat off her shoulders for now. Maybe she really should consider therapy. If not for the guilt she felt towards Jon, but also for the trauma Joffrey put her through her senior year. Her father had tried to get her to go after Joffrey, but Sansa hadn’t wanted to.

It felt like admitting she was weak, that she wasn’t strong enough on her own to come back to herself. It felt like admitting defeat.

Robb was thriving though with his mandated anger therapy. He was so against it, putting his foot down that he didn’t need it, but it was the only time he was allowed out of the house and after a few sessions, he came to grudgingly enjoy it. Sansa remembered asking him about it and Robb had told her that it was…freeing to talk about things and not be judged for them. To have someone understand your feelings and even put into words feelings that were hard to describe.

If it could help him learn to control his temper then what could it do for her?

Maybe she should find out…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So if no one really caught on in the last chapter, both Jon and Sansa will attend therapy to deal with their emotions and such. I'm a bit fearful on how to write it as I've never gone to therapy and all I know from it is from tv and what I have read/my psychology class. Sorry there was no Jon/Sansa interaction, but I wanted to focus on Sansa's wellbeing and mental state which is obviously...not good. Marg helped, but she needs professional help. I loved writing the interaction between Sansa and both Arya and Robb. Arya pretty much said something I would have said, hahaha. Actually, when my sister was pregnant, she sent me the pic of the sanogram and I had texted back, 'looks like he's going to have a big nose' and my sister was like 'I knew you would say that!' Hahaha, yeah, luckily my nephew does not have a big nose. 
> 
> Next chapter will be Jon's and hopefully, some interaction between him and Sansa.
> 
> Let me know whatcha think?! ^_~


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jon's POV
> 
> Therapy, lunch with a certain red head, and making up with another red head. ^_~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter was relatively easy to write, so much so that I wrote 8842 words...hahaha...I really enjoy this chapter for Jon, it goes a little more in depth with his thoughts and who he is within the story. I was going to have this done and posted Friday but...real life happens. Hell, I just got a text from my boss that the office is closed because a recent hire contracted covid...fun. Now I have to try and get my backup computer from work and then I'm working from home again. The only good thing about it is that I don't have school going on along side work. 
> 
> Enjoy! ^_~

Jon smiled tightly at the woman as she leaned back from the counter after receiving her payment receipt. “You have everything for Rocky’s prescription right?” he asked politely though he wished she would leave as soon as possible.

It didn’t escape his notice that she was flashing him her tits when she leaned against the counter, nor the way she eyed him like a predator either.

“I think so though I am missing something,” she answered with a dramatic sigh before continuing, “Your number?”

Jon felt his lips drop into a frown, but before he could respond with a polite ‘no’, someone else answered for him. “His girlfriend is expecting.”

The woman flushed as Benjen Stark came to stand behind Jon. She rapidly apologized before racing out of the vet office with poor Rocky struggling to keep up. Jon sighed in relief though he peered over at Benjen with a raised eyebrow.

“Sansa’s not my girlfriend,” Jon stated tightly, it made his throat clench to say it even though it was true.

“But she’s expecting,” Benjen answered matter-of-factly. “Regardless, you don’t need to be hassled when you’re working.”

“Right,” Jon grumbled with a shake of his head. That woman wasn’t the first, nor the last to try and obtain his number. Apparently, nothing was hotter than seeing a man work with animals.

“Well, anyway, I came by because you wanted to discuss your hours?” Benjen questioned, coming over to sit at the other chair at the front desk. It was a rather slow day.

“Yeah, I was wondering if I could get some overtime hours if there’s any available.”

Jon had thought about everything, how he was originally saving money to get his own place and pay back some of his student loans he took out, but now he had a different reason to save money. Though Sansa was under her parent’s insurance, there were still bills to pay and Jon refused to allow Ned or Catelyn to pay for them. Ned had tried to broach the subject after Sansa’s first appointment, stating that he could pay the bill. Jon couldn’t allow that though.

Sansa had never had to get a job, none of the Starks did. Robb only worked over the summer at the vet office because Jon wanted to do it. They never flaunted money like the Lannisters did, but the Starks weren’t poor in the least. Ned worked at the WPD and Catelyn was a nurse at the hospital in Wintertown. But Jon refused to allow them to pay for Sansa’s medical bills. It was his responsibility to take care of her while she was pregnant with his baby and especially so, while he was staying rent free at her parent’s home.

The bills wouldn’t be overly expensive with the insurance, but there was other things that needed to be bought for the baby. Jon needed more money which meant more hours, if possible.

“I’ll have to check the schedule to be sure, but I think I can arrange that though it might be overnight hours,” Benjen warned but Jon nodded anyway.

Overnight wasn’t the most fun, but he liked being around the animals and keeping them company for a few hours. Grenn tended to do third shift most nights to tend the animals and watch over the ones that had surgery that day. It was usually quiet and every half hour they would check on vitals of the animals, take any outside in the fenced area to move and relieve themselves, and give medicine at the right time. Jon rarely ever did overnight unless he had to take an exam during the day, or something came up.

Wintertown Animal Hospital was very flexible with hours and it helped that Pyp or Grenn were willing to come in at short notice. 

“Any hours that you’re willing to give, I’ll gladly take.”

Benjen nodded, leaning back against his chair. “How has your therapy sessions been?”

Had anyone else asked him, he’d probably have said ‘fine’ and be done with it, but Benjen Stark wasn’t just anyone. Not for Jon. He wasn’t only Sansa’s uncle and Ned’s little brother; he was like family for Jon just as the rest of the Starks were. It was Benjen that noticed Jon’s interest when he was younger when he came along with Ned and Robb to visit Benjen his first day at the animal hospital.

Benjen had offered they work there over the summer to make some money and to ‘learn some responsibility’ as he put it. Again, Jon jumped for joy while Robb didn’t mind so much as they got to hang out and make a little money as well. Because of Jon’s interest, Benjen had taken him aside and taught him more than he really needed to know and by the end of that first summer, Jon knew he wanted to be a veterinarian.

Honestly, both Ned and Benjen were like fathers to Jon, both had looked out for him and helped him in so many ways. He could never thank them enough.

“It’s actually going really well. I…I honestly didn’t think it would work for me, but,” Jon shrugged his shoulders, “I am feeling better and better with each session. It’s like I learn more about myself than I ever really knew, you know?”

“Yeah, I do actually. After the deaths of my dad, and older brother, I had really lost my way. I was only a kid back then and Ned had just married Cat when he took me in,” Benjen scoffed in a short laugh, shaking his head as the memories came over him. “I wasn’t exactly the best person at that point. Drove my brother mad with my angsty teenage rebellion. Luckily, Cat understood what I needed, forced me to see a therapist. I mean imagine a seven-month pregnant Catelyn Stark, hand fisted in my shirt and dragging me to my first therapy session. She was so scary back then,” Benjen stated with a chuckle, his eyes raising to the ceiling as he remembered that point in his life.

Jon smiled, but he had to disagree. She was still scary. 

“Anyway, I know how it feels to first take that plunge and speak to someone you don’t know about your problems and feelings. It’s weird and…scary, but once you get into the flow of it…nothing could help you more.”

Jon nodded in agreement, his mind taking him back to that first session almost three weeks ago…

\-------

He couldn’t stop fidgeting as he waited to be called in. Jon’s foot kept moving up and down, his palms were sweaty, and his heart was slightly racing. Before he left the Stark house, Arya had seen him leave, asked where he was going and upon hearing his answer and seeing how anxious he was, she offered to go with him. Though he appreciated her offer, he decided it was best he did this on his own.

If he couldn’t make it through a simple session by himself then how could he commit and continue to come here and speak to his therapist? No, this was something he had to do himself for himself. Jon really shouldn’t be feeling so nervous, but it was something new and it bothered him because he wasn’t someone to spill his guts to just anyone.

Hell, even Ygritte had a hard time getting him to talk about his feelings. Maybe it was from being in the system all his life, but Jon was like a clam and it was hard to pry him open.

“Snow?” Jon jumped at the sound of his last name. The receptionist smiled encouragingly, waving him over. “Mr. Seaworth is ready for your appointment, just knock on the door and go in.”

He nodded, quickly wiping his palms on his jeans then approached the door before knocking. He heard a man within say ‘Come in’ and Jon opened the door to reveal an older gentleman, with greyish hair on his head and his beard, and a stern look about him. He smiled though when Jon came in, shutting the door behind him.

“Hello, Mr. Snow, I’m Davos Seaworth. Please, take a seat.” Davos waved a hand over to the furniture in the room. There were three armchairs and a lounge chaise, all colored a deep brown and exactly what he would picture in a therapist office.

Jon opted for an armchair, not feeling anywhere near comfortable enough to attempt the chaise. Davos came over to seat himself across, pad of paper and pen in his lap. He then pulled out a pair of readers out of his pocket, putting them on before directing his gaze onto Jon.

“So, Mr. Snow, why don’t you tell me why you’re here today?” Davos started off though he didn’t seem inclined to pick up his pad and pen to write.

“Uhhh, well, you can call me Jon.” Davos nodded with a small tilt of his head. Jon coughed, rolling his shoulders, it was like he couldn’t quite get comfortable even though the armchair was probably the comfiest thing he has ever sat on. His nerves were starting to get to him though. “I uhhh, I guess I’m here to…work through some issues and…stuff,” Jon finished lamely, scrunching his nose at how dumb he must sound.

His therapist didn’t look put out or bothered by such a lackluster response though. “Well that is the good thing about therapy, it’s meant to help you think about the issues and stresses in your life and find a way to cope with and handle them. Talking through your feelings of certain situations and overcoming those obstacles. It can all be rather relative and objective at times. And, sometimes you just need someone to listen while you vent.” Davos shrugged lightly, his accent thick and deep but soothing in a way. “What do you hope to accomplish?”

Jon frowned, glancing away to stare at his feet, hoping that his foot wouldn’t start bouncing nervously like he had the urge to. “I’m not quite sure what you mean,” he answered honestly.

“Do you think a few sessions will make you better? Make you normal again or back to your old self again?” Davos inquired, leaning back in his chair comfortably. Jon found it pecular how he said ‘normal again’ though he assumed it was because of what most people thought therapy could do for them.

Make them normal again.

“I’ve never been normal,” Jon quipped, raising his eyes back up from the ground. “I don’t think a few sessions will make me better, I think…I hope that it will help me understand myself better…but I don’t expect a miracle.”

“Good because if you did then you would have to go see another therapist.”

Jon blinked several times, brow bearing down over his eyes as he managed to say, “Excuse me?”

Davos sighed, crossing his ankle up over his knee as he resettled his pad of paper and pen. “Too many people come in here expecting a cure to their misery, their anxiety, their depression, but there is no simple route to feeling better. There is no miracle to getting better. It will always be a long journey for some people, and it can be a short journey for others. Only you can decide if and when you are feeling better though if I get the impression that you will harm yourself or others then it’ll be to my discretion of if and when you are better.

“Anywho, why don’t you tell me a bit about yourself, Jon? Give me a picture of what your life has been like.”

Jon grinded his teeth as he thought about what he was going to say. It seemed rather cliché of his therapist to ask such a question, but he understood that for Davos to help him, he needed to know him.

“I…” Jon paused, his heart beating faster and faster inside his chest. He hated talking about himself especially talking about his early life before becoming friends with Robb and Theon. He hated it because it made him relive it all over again. The anxiety, the bulling within the orphanage, the sorrow when a prospective family passes on him, and the loneliness that he felt each night, lying awake as he hoped and prayed that the next day would bring a family that would say ‘yes, he’s the one’.

That day never came and once he was sixteen…he found his own place and Ygritte who had been sort of his girlfriend had jumped at the chance to move out of her wreck of a home life to live with him.

Closing his eyes tightly, Jon willed himself to speak, to open his damn mouth and talk to his therapist. The words wouldn’t come out though, his tongue refused to work, and his stomach was wrenching violently. Why couldn’t he just say something? For old gods sake, say something!

“I know it can be hard to speak about your life to someone you’ve just met,” Davos suddenly announced, “So, I’ll start.” Jon opened his eyes to see understanding within the older man’s eyes.

“I grew up in the King’s Landing, Flea bottom to be exact. It was a rough life to live, my mother tried to provide for me, and my father left the moment he found out she was pregnant. She worked hard and taught me to never give up and to always be honest, especially with myself.

“She’d say, ‘Davos, you can lie through your teeth all day long, but don’t ever lie to yourself. Don’t ever live in an illusion.’ She fostered my interest in psychology, pushed me to pursue a career even though we could not afford such an education. I worked as a carpenter to get by, paying for school and that’s how I met my wife, Marya; I worked for her father. I got my degree in psychology, I married the love of my life, and my mother got terribly sick.”

Davos paused for a moment, letting his words sink in for Jon before continuing, “Cancer is a horrible thing, and nothing hurts more than to see someone you love waste away fighting it. I didn’t want to go into a masters while she was so sick, but that woman would not relent.” Jon found himself chuckling with Davos.

“Marya became pregnant with my first son of seven.” Jon whistled in amazement. “I know, my wife always wanted a big family and I had no say in it,” he paused to sigh, his eyes looking slightly far away. “My mother got to hold Dale after he was born and it was like that was what she was waiting for, to hold her first grandson. I got the call the next morning that my mother passed in the night. It was hard getting through my masters after that, but I knew my mother would strangle me if I didn’t complete something I committed to. So, each day I come into this office and help every person that walks into here, I thank my mother for pushing me even in the grave.”

“I grew up in the system,” Jon bluntly stated though Davos didn’t appear shocked that he spoke at all. It was hard not to talk after hearing his story, hearing his passion for psychology and the sorrow when his mother passed. Somehow, it did make it easier to speak about his own life. “I never knew who my mother or father was, I was left at the orphanage in Wintertown. No one ever attempted to adopt me, and I was rarely fostered.”

“How did you cope with that?” Davos questioned, finally holding his pad and pen.

Jon leaned forward, balancing his arms on top of his knees while cupping his hands together to keep them from shaking nervously. “Shitty. I felt like I wasn’t…good enough. I tried though, I tried to be nice, to smile, to seem like the best kid there! But…but it didn’t matter…the older I got; the less chance I was to be adopted. Most families are looking for young kids, but once you get to ten, you’re overlooked constantly.”

“How was life living in Wintertown, living at the orphanage?”

Memories assaulted his mind, flashing before his eyes as he remembered the cold nights, wrapped up tight to keep warm, the days of schooling where the bullies would come to push him around and taunt him over having no one, for being a ‘Snow’ and the utter dejection when another visiting family chose someone else and not him. Never him. Jon felt like he couldn’t swallow as he attempted to speak, so much emotion and feelings were forcing him mouth shut; sealing it almost entirely.

“I see,” Davos said after a minute of silence. He wrote something down quietly within his note pad. “It’s not always easy to speak of the past especially when it still hurts you today when thinking back on it. For now, let’s not dwell on the bad and look towards the good. Was there anything that happened to be good for you during that time?”

Jon nodded, forcing a hard swallow as he brought up memories of meeting Robb and Theon.

“I meant my best friends, Robb and Theon. They…they didn’t care that I was from the orphanage, they never treated me differently.”

“Are you still friends with them today?”

“Yes,” Jon started then paused as he remembered Robb’s hard punch. “For the most part,” he added, reaching up to touch the side of his face. His hair covered most of the splotchy yellow coloring of his healing bruise. He thought of talking about the issue with Robb, but this was only to be his first session, there’d be others where he could talk about it then.

Davos continued to ask him questions, bordering around his time in the orphanage, but only any happy memories he had there and omitting the bad times. There weren’t many happy times there though, so Jon went on to talk about working at the animal hospital and working towards his degree and licensing. The more he talked, the more comfortable he became with speaking to his therapist. He wasn’t entirely ready to talk about the bad points in his life and Davos never pressed him for it either.

If anything, it was far easier going than Jon had anticipated. Once their time was up, he left feeling quite stupid for how nervous he had been earlier and even though they hadn’t gotten in deep with anything, he felt better than he had that morning too.

\-------

Jon was now three sessions in and the fourth was only in a few days, and he was actually looking forward to it.

“Yeah, nothing could help more,” he agreed.

Benjen smiled brightly, almost proudly at him then glanced at the front door before turning his eyes back on Jon. “So…how’s Sansa and the baby? I haven’t gotten a chance to go and see the family.”

Suddenly, there was a tightness in his chest. It wasn’t so much that he didn’t want to talk about Sansa or the baby, but that Benjen said it all so nonchalantly, so easygoing while Jon felt like he was walking eggshells around Catelyn, Ned, and Robb, or at least when he came across him.

“She’s good, the morning sickness is starting to wane some and she’s uhhh,” Jon fumbled his words as he tried to remember where she was within the pregnancy. “Hold on.”

He opened one of the drawers, pulling out his phone and searching through his bookmarks before finding the correct one. “She’s 14 weeks, so the baby’s the size of a lemon now. In a few weeks, we’ll learn what the baby’s gender is,” Jon finished, closing out of his phone and putting it away.

“Are you prepared?” Benjen questioned in that same nonchalance attitude.

Jon shrugged. “Well, I know Sansa and her mom have gotten some clothes here and there, and a few baby things like bottles, diapers, and stuff. They don’t want to overbuy until after the baby shower though.”

“No, Jon,” Benjen laughed with a shake of his head, “I didn’t mean in that way. I meant, are you prepared to be a father? Prepared to have a baby to raise?”

Jon frowned as he thought over the questions. It was hard not to think about what it was going to be like raising a baby. He was going to be on the tail end of finishing school, Sansa would be just starting out by the time the baby is born and the Stark’s had already set up the basement as his own room for the time being, so he could help Sansa with the baby.

But was he ready to be a father? Was he prepared to be a father?

“I don’t…I don’t think anyone is ever prepared. Honestly, I feel like I am, but I’m not.” Jon propped his elbow on the desk beside him, leaning his chin into his palm as he spoke, “One moment I think I’m going to be just fine, I know what a good father can be because of Ned, but then I doubt myself. Will I be a good father? Am I really ready for this step?”

“You couldn’t look at anyone better than Ned. He can be a great father, but sometimes…he lacks depth, at least with his girls,” Benjen muttered at the end, shaking his head.

“He does his best,” Jon countered with a frown.

“Oh no! Don’t get me wrong, I know my brother does his best, but he’s told me how he has a hard time connecting with the girls, especially Sansa once she started getting into makeup and being a girly-girl. Arya has always been easy for him as she’s just like having another son. It is good for him though, forces him to expand his knowledge and be better.”

Jon nodded his understanding, it made him wonder what he would do if the baby is a girl. Would he have a hard time connecting with her once she grew older? Would he be out of his depth with her once puberty hits? Or would it even matter if he’s a terrible father from the get-go?

“Sometimes I’m worried I won’t be a good father at all,” Jon admitted softly, drawing his eyes down to the floor.

“Why do you think that?”

He shrugged before mumbling out, “I didn’t grow up with a father or a mother in my life. I may have witnessed two good examples, but I don’t really know what it is like to have people like that in my life. I keep thinking, ‘oh I’ll be fine, once the baby’s born, I’ll be the best dad ever’, but then I second guess myself because I don’t honestly know if I will be.”

“Jon,” Benjen called out, forcing him to look up. “Right now, at this very moment, you don’t know what it’s like to be a father, neither do I for that matter, but that doesn’t mean you won’t know once you are. In my humble opinion, as long as you are there for Sansa and the baby and provide for them then you’re already a better dad then you believe you’ll be.”

Benjen stood up then, raising his arms over his head to stretch then crack his neck. “Remember this, you can be prepared for the baby, but you’ll never truly be ready until that baby is in your arms. You just have to do the best you can, be the best you can.”

“Thanks, Benjen. That helps a lot.” Jon smiled up to him, feeling that tightness from earlier ease within.

“You’re welcome,” he answered with a wink before heading to the back, only the swishing of the door and sounds of animals were left behind.

Jon sighed, stretching his arms up as well before checking the clock. His break would be in an hour, so he needed to think of where he could go on the cheap for lunch. He didn’t have time that morning to make anything.

For the next hour, Jon helped check in a few patients, smiling when he got to pet the dogs that came through and the few cats that weren’t terrified to be there. Pyp came from the back, joining him at the front as it started to pick up with people.

Pyp was Jon’s age, the grandson of one of the older vets at the hospital and going through the same classes as him. They got along well, joking around and handling the paperwork when they were assigned at the front. The animal hospital rotated the interns around, so that everyone was getting valuable hours with the head vets, but also to fill in for front desk attendants in the case that someone calls out sick.

It was just about time for Jon to clock out for his lunch when he noticed red hair outside. “Oh, she’s a hot one,” Pyp quipped quickly at Jon’s side.

Upon entering the animal hospital, Sansa looked around briefly before connecting eyes with Jon. Even though they lived together and were going to have a baby together, he didn’t get to see her all that often. It was mostly during dinner or when she came down to the basement to talk about the baby and such. He treasured those moments, but they were sort of impersonal in a way.

Her coming here definitely was not impersonal.

“That’s Stark’s niece,” Jon hissed, his face flooding with a flush.

Pyp seemed to notice because his lips twisted into a smirk as he peered over at him.

“Hey Jon!” Sansa greeted brightly as she approached the front desk. She was wearing a yellow tank top with denim shorts and sandals. He noted that her belly was poking out some, revealing her pregnancy and that did something to him. A warmth spread through his body and, unfortunately, straight to his groin.

“Hi Sansa,” he returned, standing up and shifting awkwardly from side to side. Settle down, boy, he thought. “What are you doing here? Do you want me to go get your uncle?”

“Oh no! Actually, I’m here for you!”

“Me?” Jon mumbled, slightly shocked. He glanced at Pyp who very bluntly wiggled his eyebrows at him. He turned back to Sansa to see her smiling so brightly at him, gods, it was like she was glowing from within.

“Yes, you. I uh…” she paused for a second, almost nervously as she raised up what looked to be a basket. “I made lunch and I thought maybe you would want to join me. Oh! I didn’t ask if you had already taken your lunch break.”

“He hasn’t, actually he’s just about to go on break,” Pyp quickly stated, pulling up the clock out application for him. Jon barely kept his eyes from rolling as he leaned down to type in his credentials to clock out.

“Lunch together sounds great,” Jon said afterwards, walking to the back to get around to Sansa at the front. “There’s some picnic tables out back, near the playground.”

“Perfect!”

They walked out together though Jon couldn’t stop from looking behind him to see Pyp making kissy faces at him, his face flamed up and he turned away quickly. Jon led the way around the animal hospital over to one of the numerous picnic tables. They had a perfect view of both the playground and the fenced in area behind the hospital for the animals.

“What did you bring?” Jon asked as they sat down. Sansa shrugged lightly, pushing hair over her shoulder as she started to pull items from her basket.

“Ham sandwiches, potato chips, pudding cups and some water bottles,” Sansa named out as she pulled each stated item from the basket. That warmth from before spread further but less sexual and more…loving.

“Sounds great, thank you.” Sansa waved him off but there was a slight redness coloring her cheeks.

“It’s nothing, mom said you didn’t make anything today and I was heading out near here anyway so…” she trailed off, handing him a wrapped sandwich as he opened the bag of chips for them.

“Your mom said that?” Jon didn’t know how to feel that Catelyn watched him enough to notice he didn’t make a lunch today.

“Yes uh…she actually made the sandwiches.”

“Why?” Jon asked bluntly, confusion coloring his features. Sometimes he couldn’t understand that woman, she would be scary as hell one moment then motherly the next. Was that what all mothers were like?

Would Sansa be like that?

“Well, why not?” she asked back, her brow raised with just as much confusion.

Jon shrugged after a moment. “I don’t know…she’s never particularly cared for me…”

Sansa pressed her lips together, unwrapping her sandwich slowly, almost thoughtful. “I think she feels bad, I guess or maybe she’s realizing that you’re going to be apart of my life, so…you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar, right?”

“I guess.”

“Well anyway,” Sansa started, waving her hand as though to wave everything away. “How’s work been?”

“It’s good, I’m not learning as much as I wish, but once I finish my degree and get licensed then I can start my real interning. I’ve decided to take up some extra hours too,” Jon added at the end, taking a bite out of his sandwich to stop from saying more, he really didn’t want to get into it with Sansa about money and him paying her medical bills.

They’ve already gone through it a few times now.

“Jon-Oh look, their taking Ghost out,” Jon quickly interrupted her, pointing towards the fenced in yard behind the animal hospital. The dog, Ghost, silently walked out, sniffing the ground cautiously. He moved like he was expecting an attack with his head down between his legs.

“He looks scared,” Sansa noted with a frown, allowing the change in subject. Jon was sure she’ll lead them back to that conversation at some point. She wasn’t so easily distracted.

“Aye. His owner dropped him off a few weeks ago with a broken hip. Your uncle suspects animal abuse especially with how skittish he is with new people. Owner hasn’t come back for him, the number left behind goes immediately to voicemail, and there was no credit card number left behind to charge for his medical bills.”

“That’s terrible! How could someone do such a thing?! Poor baby.” Jon sighed with a nod, taking another bite of his sandwich. “I wonder why he was named Ghost,” Sansa pondered after finishing a bite of her own sandwich.

“I named him actually,” Jon admitted, turning back to watch Ghost walk slowly with a gait that reminded him of a wolf. “There was no name put down and he was so silent even though we knew how much pain he was in. I have to actively check on him to make sure he’s okay because it’s so easy to overlook him with how quiet he is. It sort of reminded me of a ghost.”

Sansa smiled at his story, watching Ghost with sympathetic eyes. “What will they do with him once he’s fully recovered?”

Ghost went to the bathroom, peering around himself constantly before quickly going back inside as the playground nearby started to get crowded with small, loud children.

“I don’t know. We discussed sending him to a shelter, but he’s a huge dog and being so skittish would mean he might not get adopted.”

He might get euthanized, Jon thought darkly.

“Is he sweet?” she asked next, turning her gaze over to the playground.

“Once he knows you, yes. I’ve…” Jon paused, wondering if he should say this or not, but when Sansa glanced back at him, waiting attentively for him to continue, his mouth moved without him. “I’ve been thinking of adopting him myself. Out of everyone, I get along with him best…but I can’t impose on your parents like that.”

Not with what was currently going on.

“I could speak to my parents about it,” Sansa offered, taking a quick sip of water before continuing, “We use to have a bunch of dogs ourselves when we were kids before some of them passed and all that.”

Jon immediately shook his head. “It’s already a full house, Sansa. And I think it’d be asking too much with…everything.”

“I don’t think so.”

“Alright,” Jon mumbled, taking defeat with this conversation. Sansa could be stubborn when she wanted to be, and it seemed this was one of those times. “What have you done today?”

Sansa shrugged her shoulders though she came off more tense than nonchalant. She was picking at her sandwich too, pulling pieces of breadcrust off the edges of the sandwich. It was starting to make him nervous.

“Well…I got the notification that my transfer went through, so hopefully I will start a class or two in the fall which is pretty exciting,” Sansa said brightly, her shoulders slightly relaxing now.

“That’s great, Sansa. I’m happy for you.” Jon was very happy actually.

With her decision to keep the baby, Jon worried how that would affect her education. She had intended to go to Vale University, but that seemed a tad implausible now with the pregnancy and all. It also would have probably killed him if she had decided to go there while pregnant. He would never stop her from bettering herself and fulfilling her future with a fruitful career, but the separation would not be enjoyable in the least.

It wasn’t only because of the baby either. Jon realized as he listened to Sansa talk about some of the classes Winterfell University offered. Though they hadn’t spent an awful lot of time together, the times that they had were enjoyable and fun. Spending time with Sansa had never been a hardship for him, not with his crush on her, but Sansa had never sought him out like she was now. Regardless that her coming to him had more to do with the baby than anything else, it was still nice.

She didn’t come here to talk about the baby though, Jon thought. The baby had hardly come up actually.

“Also, there’s something else I need to tell you,” Sansa announced quickly, pushing away her food.

“What is it?” Jon asked, nerves starting to make him tense. She came off anxious though he wasn’t sure why, unless… “Is the baby okay?” he quickly fired off, but Sansa waved it away with her hand and a shake of her head.

“Oh no, nothing serious like that. The baby’s fine.” Sansa dropped her hand below the table, he wondered if she was touching her belly. “No, actually I got a job in Wintertown, at the local library.”

That had not been what he was expecting. Jon arched a brow. “Why?”

Sansa frowned at his single word question. “Well, why not? I’m nineteen years old and about to have a baby in a few months. I can’t survive off an allowance anymore either. Plus, I need the independence and…it could come in handy with my medical bills.”

“Sansa, you don’t have to pay for your medical bills, I’ll handle it,” Jon stressed, pushing his food away as well.

“What if I don’t want you to just ‘handle it’, Jon. I don’t want you to waste all your money on me and my medical bills. I can pitch in here and there, and it’s not only for that reason either. I should have my own money too.”

“You’re right,” Jon sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make it sound like you shouldn’t have a job or your own money. I just don’t want to have you stressed out more than you are already.”

Jon jumped as Sansa pulled his hand from his face, gripping her hands around his as she stared into his eyes. His ears burned at her touch and intense stare.

“We’re in this together. I know you feel responsible and want to provide, but it should be a joint thing between us, just like were going to be joint parenting, right?” Sansa asked softly, still holding his hand between hers. He glanced down at their hands then back to her eyes.

Half of him really wanted to say that he didn’t just want to joint parent with her, he wanted to be with her and be parents together. He wanted so much more with Sansa, the more he’s around her, the more he dreams of that family life he always wanted. But he held those words back.

He was learning more and more about himself and what he really wanted in life, but he had no idea what Sansa truly wanted. Jon had no idea if Sansa would want to pursue a relationship with him. He knew the only way he would know the answer was to ask, but the crushing pressure of rejection hovered over his head, ready to drop at a moment’s notice.

Jon wasn’t sure he could handle another rejection so soon. Not after everything with Ygritte. She broke his heart and it has been months since it happened, but he needed to be okay with himself. He needed to be sure that he was anywhere near over Ygritte before even thinking of jumping into a relationship. That didn’t mean he didn’t want to, but it was the right thing for both himself and Sansa to do.

So, he would continue to hold his tongue, wait it out until he was ready to take that plunge. Hopefully, Sansa would be too.

“Tell me about the job,” Jon said to push away his thoughts and drown himself in the sweet voice that belonged to Sansa.

She smiled, letting his hand go though he wished she hadn’t and started to talk about the position at the local library. “It’s nothing too glamorous, really. I’ll be handling checking out books and putting them away, back into place. It’ll be really good when I start fall semester, since they said they’ll allow me to work on schoolwork as long as I pay attention and get my actual work done before I start. It’s minimum wage too, but again, it’s not glamorous, but it’s a start.”

“It sounds good to me. A great first job.”

Sansa pressed her lips together, bringing her eyes down in a bashful way. “Thank you, I’m pretty excited about it,” she admitted with her eyes glancing over to her phone.

Her eyes then widened before she was jumping up and quickly gathering everything. “I’m going to be late!” Sansa hissed, stuffing the leftover wrappers into her basket. She flung a pudding cup at Jon, he barely caught it before it hit him in the face.

“Late for what? Your new job?”

“No.” Sansa continued to put away their lunch though she didn’t seem to intend on elaborating what she meant. By how anxious she was, he assumed it was very important, but he wouldn’t probe her for answers if she wasn’t willing to give them.

“Okay, well let me walk you to your car.”

They walked back around the animal hospital in mostly silence. Jon couldn’t help glancing back at her as they came to the parking lot. She was walking briskly with anxiety clearly shown on her face. He was going to say something as they got to her car, worried what it was that she was late for, but Sansa stopped abruptly and turned to him.

“This was fun, Jon. I’m glad I caught you before you went on lunch.”

Jon found himself nodding, giving her a small smile. “Aye, I am too. I really like just talking about life and…stuff,” he ended lamely, dropping his smile altogether. He was never smooth when it came to talking, Ygritte found that more humorous though.

“I’m…” Sansa licked her lips, pursing them together tightly. “I’m going to my first therapy session and I don’t want to be late…”

“Oh.”

Jon had not been expecting that. His mind went blank on what to say to her exactly. As he scrambled to get a sentence together in his head, Sansa pushed on, asking, “Should I feel as nervous as I do?”

Shaking his head to clear away his scrambling thoughts, Jon offered a more genuine smile. “Yes, it’s okay to feel nervous, I was the first time too.”

“Okay, I feel a bit better now.”

Opening her door, she halted, dropping the basket in the driver seat before turning to face him. The tension she held was gone as though his words really did soothe her anxiety. Sansa bit her lip then abruptly flung her arms around his neck, pulling him into a hug.

It startled him, but swiftly he wrapped his arms around her back, keeping her held to him. He could feel her belly pressing against him, it was strange feeling. Stranger to know that his baby was in there, developing and growing. It was strange to know he was hugging the woman carrying his baby. The whole situation was just…strange.

For the last couple of months, Jon had been going through life in a blur. He barely kept his head above water after Ygritte’s rejection to marriage. He basically moved and ate and slept, but he wasn’t living anymore. Yet, with Sansa and the baby, Jon’s started to feel a purpose in his life again. The therapy was helping as well, but he was starting to live again because of Sansa.

His hands clutched at the back of her tank top, unwilling to release her just yet. Sansa laughed lightly as he tightened his hold, she buried her face into his neck before mumbling, “Jon, I’m going to be late.”

It took a moment for him to let her go, forcing his fingers to loosen and uncurl around her clothes before stepping back entirely from her. Jon managed to mutter, “Sorry.”

“I’m not, I really needed that,” Sansa stated bluntly, smiling brighter at his dumbfounded expression.

Jon watched as Sansa tossed her basket into the passenger seat, pulling her keys out as she settled into the driver’s seat. He closed the door for her then leaned in slightly.

“Drive safe…uh..let…let me know when you get there,” Jon stumbled over his words, feeling like an idiot that didn’t know how to string a sentence together. Bumbling fool that he was.

Sansa nodded. “I will.”

“Good luck.”

He stepped back as she pulled out of her spot then waved as she honked back at him. He watched after her as she drove away, standing there long after she had disappeared from his sight. Jon was left with a warm feeling inside like he had been cold then drank some hot coffee to warm his insides up. It was pleasant, he hoped it stayed with him for the rest of the day…

\-------

It was almost five-thirty by the time he pulled into the Stark’s driveway. Jon peered up at the house, sighing at the sight of the lovely home. Sometimes, he almost expected to see his stuff out on the lawn, ready to send him packing. Yet, that was just a fear of his that wasn’t going to come true any time soon. Still, he always felt a streak of apprehension whenever he came back from work, wondering if Catelyn and Ned were going to change their minds.

He would fight with himself, going back and forth every time.

Jon rolled his eyes, getting rather annoyed with himself. He exited his car, unlocking the front door and letting himself inside. He didn’t hear anything upon entering the house, meaning that everyone was out and about at the moment.

Well, almost everyone.

Jon’s eyes drew up the stairs to the second floor. Robb had a couple more weeks before he could get his ankle bracelet off then he would have to start his community service hours. His best friend still hadn’t spoken to him yet. He wondered if he should bite the bullet and go to him.

Indecision plagued him though, and in the end, he turned away from the stairs to head to the basement. His face had only just started to look semi-normal again, no need to rush getting punched once more. Not that he thought Robb would punch him again, he had anger issues, but he wasn’t completely unreasonable.

Robb just had a bad habit of wearing his emotions on his sleeve. If they were ever in a game of poker, Robb would be the first to lose each and every time. He never felt the need to close himself off or react to something with indifference. He was almost quite literally the opposite from Jon emotionally, to the point that it was strange how they had become such great friends.

Best friends, Jon thought glumly, walking down the stairs to his makeshift room.

He missed Robb a lot, more than he’d ever thought he would. The things that were swirling around his brain, he usually would get out by talking with Robb, asking for his advice and opinion, but that wasn’t exactly an option when most of it had to do with his sister. He never thought it would come to this distance between them.

Sure, they’ve argued here and there, and there has been maybe once or twice where they didn’t talk to each other for a day, but it always got resolved. Would this time be the difference though? Would this time be the straw that broke the camel’s back?

Theon didn’t think so.

He came by not so long ago, cheering Jon up and apologizing for helping Sansa secure the liquor that aided in their pregnancy situation. He was remorseful, especially for Sansa, but Jon didn’t hold any ill will towards his other best friend.

It is what it is, Jon had told him with a shrug.

They had gotten into talking about Robb and Jon who could always pull the best poker face couldn’t hold back when it came to that situation. His eyes got red, he locked in sobs that wanted to escape because his best friend in the whole world refused to talk to him much less look at him. The one stability in his life since they met as kids was no longer there for him and Jon didn’t know how to handle it.

Hell, it might have been far worse than Ygritte rejecting his proposal.

Theon didn’t take Jon’s emotional state well. He comforted him until he was holding together better then marched up to Robb’s room. Jon never learned what was said, but it didn’t exactly do anything to change the circumstance between them. Maybe nothing will?

Jon flopped onto his bed, happy that he wasn’t sleeping on the pullout couch anymore with that being moved to the garage attic for the time being, it left a lot of space even with the small amount of his stuff filling the room.

The baby’s crib could go over there, Jon thought briefly before shaking it from his mind. They hadn’t really discussed how they were going to situate the baby’s stuff. It seemed appropriate to have the crib in Sansa’s room, but her bedroom wasn’t one of the biggest, not nearly as big as the basement. They’d have to remove some furniture to accommodate the crib and changing table.

As his thoughts dwelled upon the baby, a knock at the basement door drew him out of his mind. Before he could answer, the door opened slowly, and footsteps echoed as whoever it was walked down the stairs.

There was only one person it could be.

Robb came down to the basement floor, turning to face Jon before taking in how much the room had changed first then his eyes stopped on him.

“Hey,” Jon said once attention was on him. His heart was beating faster inside his chest, nerves kicking in as Robb walked further into the room.

“It looks good down here,” Robb remarked, coming to a stop in the middle of the basement.

“Yeah.” Jon didn’t mean to come off awkward, but that’s how he felt at the moment. He hadn’t been expecting Robb to come down here today, least of all without being badgered from everyone in the household to do so.

He let out a loud sigh, before approaching Jon tensely laying on his bed. Robb looked him over, staring at his face long enough to tell Jon that he was gaging his healing eye.

“It’s almost gone,” Robb commented, waving his hand over his face to indicate Jon’s eye. He reached up to lightly touch the edges of the yellowed skin.

“Yeah, almost healed,” Jon noted, pushing himself up to sit with his back against his headboard.

Silence filled the air between them. Jon wasn’t sure what he should say, he thought to apologize for what happened or even for not telling Robb ahead of time, but that just didn’t feel right to him. He waited patiently for Robb to say something though, knowing that he would break well before Jon would.

And he did.

“Look man, I’m,” Robb swallowed, running a hand through his hair with distress showing on his face. He was never good at admitting fault. “I’m…fuck! I’m sorry for hitting you, Jon. I…I shouldn’t have done that; I shouldn’t have taken my anger out on you. There’s no excuse for it…”

“I know, you were angry, and everyone’s emotions were running high…I’m not surprised it happened.” Jon really wasn’t either. He had thought Robb would shove him or something though, not full on punch him in the face.

Robb quickly shook his head. “It doesn’t matter, I should have had better control on my anger. It…it shouldn’t have taken me so damn long to come talk to you,” he admitted with a drop of his shoulders.

Jon slide down his bed until his feet touched the ground then patted the spot next to him. Robb looked gratefully, dropping heavily onto the bed with a sigh.

“I understand-”

“I don’t want you to, Jon. Shit, I want you to be angry with me! I want you to yell at me for being a horrible best friend! I don’t deserve your understanding!” Robb yelled out, cutting Jon off as he jumped to his feet. His face was red, and his eyes appeared glossy.

Jon sat there and stared at him, waiting until he deflated.

“You are my best friend and that’s why I understand.”

Robb shook his head. “I punched you, I didn’t talk to you for weeks, and I’m still sort of pissed about the situation with my sister…”

Jon shrugged lightly, leaning over his knees to peer down at his hands, clamped together. “Robb, I’ve known you for almost my whole damn life. I know your faults and I know your strengths; I know you like you’re my brother. I’m not going to lie and say it didn’t hurt for you to not only punch me, but not speak to me for weeks. It fucking sucked, but if I don’t bother to understand you then why should you bother to understand me?”

They stared at each other for a good moment before Robb laughed lightly. “Come here, man.”

Jon stood and walked into Robb’s open arms. There would be more to discuss between them, they both knew that, but for right now this was enough. Jon hugged him tightly, feeling that small part of him that had ripped and torn apart only a few short weeks ago come back into place. It wasn’t fully healed, there were still some cracks, but it would heal with time just like their friendship.

“Why do you have to be so you?” Robb grumbled into Jon’s shoulder, hugging him just as tightly.

“Because I need to balance you out,” Jon answered, smile coming to his lips.

“I feel like I just wanted in on something and I’m afraid to ask what?”

Robb and Jon immediately jumped from each other, turning to see Arya standing by the stairs, eyebrow arched and smirk on her lips.

“Why do you have to ruin a good thing, Arya?” Robb complained, crossing his arms over his chest with annoyance written all over his face.

“Okay, well if you’re done with your bromance makeup, mom called to say she wants us to order pizza for dinner. Stressful day at the hospital or something,” Arya said with a roll of her eyes and wave of her hand.

“Rickon and Bran home?” Robb asked.

“I dunno, I’m not their mom.”

He rolled his eyes at Arya then headed up the stairs. Jon knew they’d talk more in depth later when their emotions weren’t running so high and there was no one to interrupt them. Arya proceeded to pass Jon and fling herself onto his bed without a care in the world.

“Everything okay?” Arya asked as Jon sat back down on his bed. His smile was still in place.

“Yeah, I think so…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...I hope this was a good chapter for y'all! I enjoyed writing the therapy session and I do intend to have at least two-three more with Jon working on the rejected proposal and his feelings for Sansa. There will be more romance soon though! Possibly some smut in Jon's next chapter, hehehe. Pregnancy hormones. But anyway, I added a cute luncheon with Sansa, introduced Ghost (poor baby), some bonding with Benjen and Robb has come to apologize to Jon for overreacting. I was going to get into the whole thing with Sansa for them to talk over but the chapter was getting super long and...honestly, I'm tired of repeating things, so I scraped what I was going to put. I just wanted Robb to make up with Jon, so that would be one less stress on his shoulders. They'll discuss it another time. 
> 
> Let me know whatcha think!? ^_~

**Author's Note:**

> I hope y'all enjoyed this roller coaster of a chapter! I haven't written something this long in months and I haven't written smut in just as long (I think longer, actually). I hope I haven't gotten too rusty in my little hiatus. I am graduating this spring term, so college is throwing a last hurrah at me with tons of reading and homework, so please be patient with me on updates. For this one, I am determined to update once a week, so keep them fingers and toes crossed that I am able to fully commit! 
> 
> Let me know whatcha think! And check out Ch.9 of 'Jonsa Tumblr Prompts' if you wish to read Jon's POV of the moment at the bottom starting with "I'm pregnant." ^_~


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